Saturday, December 31, 2005

From the Rockies to the Poconos

Alright, folks. Here are a few photos we took on our journey to PA from KC. We were going to take a whole bunch, but as you can imagine, there isn't much to see from I-70. I did my best to get as interresting as i could.

This is my dad in the parking lot of the Hampton Inn in Village West, KCK.

Please note: We got the U-Haul with the space ship. Even my dad knows how much i like sci-fi.

This is a picture of me. Please note: My brother's Honda is actually pushing the U-Haul on this journey!

This is a photo of the first rest area we stopped at.

C'mon, folks! There are slim pickins across the midwest!!!

This was scary, scary, scary. If any of you do not understand what Bible Belt means, look no further than Illinois.

Yikes. That sucker was HUGE too......
Probably 4 stories high!!!!

And to reiterate my point: My Favorite Sign


More updates to come.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Will Santa be able to find me?

Well friends, I’m leaving tomorrow for the Big KC! For those of you who would like to hang out while I’m in town, I would love to!!! I know we’re all busy, but I plan on seeing A-ron for an evening, so anyone who wants to tag along should come (Laura, Heather, this means you!!!)
After being in KC for a couple days, I will make my way to St. Louis. The city of the arch – where my best friend, Ambo will be waiting for me with open arms – and a bottle of booze – right?
And then off to glorious PA, where I know no one, but will have a marvelous time driving for 2.5 days and chatting it up with my pa, and my new iPod! My brother and stepsister will be out there as well, so maybe there can do some much needed bonding.
Good Times, Good Times. I know it will be over before it began, but I can’t wait to go!!!

As I make this closing post, I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays – except Amber, whom I fart in your general direction (in honor of her sentiments) and will come back to blogger with many wonderful tales of adventure in the Big A.

Happy Holidays SEE Quine, Denny, Jason, Jade, Laura, Heather, Caffenator, Totalvo, bt, Kurt, Dilaram, Master Shadow and of course, A-ron!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Start spreading the news
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting awayI'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps

To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, New York, New York.

Yessiree!!!! I am getting ready for Christmas!!! I am working like a mad woman to get my gifts together, my bags packed and ready to rock and roll for the Christmas Holidays!!! So as most of you may know, I will be going home to KC on Friday. As much as I haven’t been around blogging in the last week, I almost guarantee only 1 or 2 posts while I am away for Xmas Vaca! Why, you ask? Well, with the entire forced holiday week off unpaid, I don’t plan on sitting around eating bon bons in the freezing Midwest. I plan on freezing my tail feather off on the East Coast! After Christmas, I am going on a road trip with my dad out to Pennsylvania! He lives in Allentown, and we are moving my stepsister out there in a U-Haul! (which is why it is IMPERITIVE I get my iPod ready for the 2.5 day drive!!!!) Many of you know this plan has been in the works for months, but what you may NOT know, is that my dad and I are going to NYC for a few days!!!! I am so EXCITED!!!!!! I can’t wait to see EVERYTHING!!!! Okay, so maybe I can’t see EVERYTHING in 2 days, but I want to see a lot!!! Does anyone have any suggestions of things I CAN’T miss?

Monday, December 19, 2005

7 Days to Go!!!!

Well, I am excited about Christmas! I know, I know, ENOUGH ABOUT CHRISTMAS, ALREADY!!!!

Well Bah Humbug on YOU!!!
I got all of my Christmas shopping done over the weekend, and I feel pleasantly happy with my shopping choices. I think all involved will find my gifts pleasant and warm.

I was a little upset with the gift I gave Josh. He wanted an external hard drive, so we went to B*** B** to purchase one (I will not advertise for anyone, except who is on my own Christmas list). What ruffled my feathers, put my panties in a wad, and stuck a tropical fruit up my azz, was the fact the above mention item was advertised at one price, but then sold at another. Why, you ask? It is all due to ‘rebates’. Now, initially, I would not buy a product with a rebate – but the guy at B*** B** told us we could fill out all the information online! “Online? Cool!” It meant no mailing off receipts! No cutting out UPC codes! I would receive my $ back faster, right? Wrong. We got home to send in for the $150 rebate, and of course it wasn’t that simple. One rebate online was through B*** B**, while the other was through the manufacturer. At first, this daunted me only a little – but who cares! One more screen to fill out? No problem. The B*** B** rebate was completed and sent of within minutes! But as I clicked on the link to the manufacturer’s rebate, the only thing that popped up at a first glance was an address! Yep! You guessed it, I have to mail in the friggin’ UPC and wait for an additional 6-8 weeks for processing. Hooray.
Looks like I’m out $150 until March.

But on a lighter side, I already got my Christmas present from Josh! It’s a new iPod for my road trip out to the east coast! I’m so excited! It’s black with a black FM tuner!
My dad got me a pretty swanky gift too! I can’t wait to get it!!!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

My Wish List

Hello friends.

I have spent the evening trying to decide what i wanted for Christmas (for anyone who wants to get me something!). I tried to find a myriad of prices, so hopefully there is a little something for everyone!

My Christmas List
just cut and paste my email to view my wish list:

Happy Shopping!!!

and p.s.
i highly suggest you do this every year! it really cuts down on getting crappy gifts you have to 'regift'.
and no, i'm not just ASKING people for gifts with this post, but my family reads my blog (although you wouldn't know it since they never COMMENT!!!!) and they have asked me to fill out a 'wish list' and send it to them. i figured i'd post it, so if i could not only tell them what i want, it would make them possibly COMMENT on my blog!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks mom and dad! Can't wait to see you on the 23rd!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Office Party Madness

Well friends, it is getting to be that time of the year again:
You got it. The Holidays. Which equal the dreaded:
Office Christmas Parties

I've just read a wonderful article from the BBC News that might help you out by giving you some good advice.

This year, we will be holding this blessed event at our offices.
Now, I know that most Christmas parties are held in the office, but for the last few years, we have had a nice dinner at a hotel banquet hall. After all, what kind of Christmas party do you have at a landscaping company? I mean, most of the time, we go out to the local sports bar, and somehow end up at the titty by 11:30! So I’m not really sure what has been going on in the minds of the owner and his wife. Sure it will be catered, but where on earth will we all sit? We have 1 conference room that could POSSIBLY fit everyone, but we are supposed to bring a guest! How is that going to work? I’m thinking I will have to sit on Josh’s lap just to eat my mashed potatoes! (cross your fingers, I HOPE they have mashed potatoes!). It all seems very odd to me. Apparently there will be no booze this year (as there were years in the past). Maybe they are relying on the employees to drink on their own dime someplace else.
This makes me a little mad. The last couple years, we had a 2 drink limit that the company paid for. I thought this was very nice. But since they cancelled the summer employee appreciation picnic (what does THAT say?) I foresee the cheap factor looming up. So no nice dinner, no booze, and no clean chairs to sit on. It’s a wonder we are a 20 million dollar company.
Then again, maybe they just don’t want everyone to get drunk and have a loose tongue.
I still say boo. I want my company party to be worth it, dammit!
Ah well. At least I will be able to mosey over to the local sports bar with the other drunks! Maybe later we will end up at the Grizzly Rose riding the mechanical bull, like last time!!!

Funny Joke

I know i've forwarded this joke to most of you, but i thought it was pretty funny!

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "'re a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are evil

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Best Presesnt Evarrrrr!!!!!!!!

Amber, you have really outdone yourself.
You are the bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Amber actually wrote Planetdan (whom i love and will marry - while at the same time be married to Jack Black - i'm sure neither will mind) and told him to send me a birthday email.

Is that not the coolest fucking thing in the world?
If you can't read it, here is the skinny -

I heard it was your birfday. Someone told me I should say hello and stuff and that would make you happy, as if it would be like getting a telegram from a celebrity or something, but I am not a celebrity. I'm just some dude in minneapolis. But I'm still happy that you are 28, so good luck until 29.


seriously, folks. Is that not awesome?
Is Amber not the bestest friend in the whole wide world?
Planetdan is my favorite blog. I have been reading him for almost 2 years now, and i have decided to put him on my marrying list right next to Jack Black, Johnny Depp and Bruce Campbell. I mean, c'mon. Isn't he dashing?

I am just all teary eyed. Just like i was when he put me in his 2004 Halloween Gallery. The greatest day of my life.

Okay. Getting a little weird here.

But seriously, Amber. That was the best gift ever. Thank you!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bon Anniversaire!

Well friends, today I am 28.
2 years until i am 30.

Today for my birthday I:

Ate a hostess cherry pie
Drank a mocha
Wore my new fall (hairpiece) I bought on Sunday as my mom's gift
Got an ecard from Amber -------------->
Got a birthday wish from A-ron:
happy birthday.
i got so much crap for trying to get you a gift last year i'm not going to do it again. therefore all you get is this email.
happy birthday.
Got a call from my dad
have reservations for sushi at lunch
Will eat at my favorite restaurant, Cafe Berlin
Drink mass quantities of booze

Amber also sent me a list of special events that happend on this day in history. Can you believe I was born of the same day as Willa Cather, Tom Waits, and Pony Boy Curtis?!

(Refresh if picture doesn't show.)
Ponyboy Curtis: Ponyboy Curtis is the main
character in the book. He is part of the
Greasers gang and lives with his two brothers.
His parents died in a road accident and he is
loyal to the Greasers although he is clever and
likes school. He hates the Socs, or Socials,
the neighbouring rich kids gang who jump
Greasers like Ponyboy just to have a good time.

Which Outsiders Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.
What a great movie. Maybe i'll go watch it tonight for my birthday! haha! or i will just go drink booze!!!
You can take more outsiders quizzes here if you like!

I wonder what Josh will get me........
any guesses?

Monday, December 05, 2005

Don't forget to hang up yr sock!

Since i was ill last week, i ended up staying in all weekend.
So what did i do? Put up a 'HOLIDAY TREE'.
heh heh heh. Who am i kidding....
I got a friggin' Christmas Tree!!!!

I love Christmas. It is so much fun. Every year, my mom and I buy each other ornaments, and swap pictures of our trees. This year, Josh took a slew of my Nativity Scene, which i inherited from my grammy. What's funny about the Nativity Scene, is that for years I remembered it as a glorious piece of Grammy History (which it was, don't get me wrong), but i laughed histerically as i unwrapped the pieces i haven't seen since before she died in 1998. The 'upgraded' Mary, Joseph and Jesus are all bigger than the rest of the figures. When i told my mom this, she said my grammy always believed that those were the most important figures, so they had to be bigger than the others. I laughed pretty hard, but then Josh agreed, and said it was the same in most renaissance paintings. Okay. I'll go along with that. But what about the fact that when you turn the 'upgrades' over, you see a black crayon mark that says $.59 on each figure! I laughed even harding thinking that my grammy got her 'upgraded' nativity figurines at the thrift store. If you knew her, you would know this is just like her.

All in all, it was a nice weekend, but i am ready to get schnookered on Wednesday for my 28th b-day. i'm going a little stir crazy in my house!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Am I the only one who remembers this show?

Did anyone else ever watch this kid's show? I remember it was on Channel 41 in the mornings, and my brother and I loved it. I also remember the actors on the show wearing rainbow clothing or something. When did they stop making silly shows like this?

I think this guy's name was Baxter.

It's the Great Space Coaster. Get on board.
On the Great Space Coaster. We'll explore.

A comet ride of fantasy
To a place where dreams are fast and free
With new friends and new things to see
We'll spin you through the galaxy

On the Great Space Coaster. Oh-oh-oh.
On the Great Space Coaster. Off we go.

Get on board, step inside, soarin' on a magic ride.
Roarin' towards the other side where only rainbows hide.

On the Great Space Coaster (Oh-oh oh)
On the Great Space Coaster (Get on board)
On the Great Space Coaster (Get on board)
On the Great Space Coaster
Off we go!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Long Strange Trip

Well, i finally realized why i look so weird i so many of my pictures. I have come to the conclusion that i need glasses.

I know!!! ME???? GLASSES????

Why would i want to hide my cute face?

Heavy Sigh.

Everyone in my family wears glasses except me. I thought i was unique because if this. I thought of all the crappy traits i have received from BOTH sides of the family, this ONE thing i lacked was a bonus. A plus. A reason to celebrate!

But lo -

I am cursed just like the rest of my family.

No flying fighter jets for me.

My days of swimming in a pool, and being able to see at the same time are over.

No more wearing whichever sunglasses I want.

Guess i'll kiss taking photos without glare in them goodbye.


I will have to get used to wearing my glasses instead of those stylish protective eye gogles when i'm doing chemistry experiments.

I'll have to get used to being able to read streetsigns at a long distance.

I will have to learn enhance my reflexes after someone pulls a 3 Stooges on me and tries to poke me in the eyes. I will now learn to grab their nose and slap it off instead of cringing in pain since my glasses protected the initial onslaught.......

Whew. I got a long road ahead of me......

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Friggin' Creepy

Hello all. I don't quite remember what i was searching for when i found this page - but it's creeping me out.
Careful, there's loud piano music that goes along with this site.

Peter Pan's Homepage

Check out his fashion pages.
They are quite........
Little Lord Fontleroy, eat your heart out!

The appearances on Conan and Jimmy Kimmel look like something i would've like to have seen. i didn't realize this guy was so popular!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Most of you know how much i scorn doctors. Most of you know exactly where i think they should put their "high demand short supply" flu shots.
Well, i gracefully accept defeat this year, as i have succumbed to the dreaded Q Virus.
Okay, okay. I mean flu virus.
I am at home today, which means i will have all the time in the world to read you blogs, buy things on ebay, and examine Josh's file aptly named 'file'. i can only assume this is his MAN file - but i won't go any further than that.
Yes, i will sit on my couch watching daytime TV, eating bon bons, and enjoying the good life - until i take that Nyquil. Nyquil to dull the pain of my throat, head, nose, and body. It will peacefully put me to sleep so i will hurt no more. Peacefully? More like knocked down by a train. How did that comedian once describe it?
The Nighttime
Sore throat
How the hell did i get on my kitchen floor medicine.

wish me luck - and let's hope i get better by tomorrow. i don't have any sick days left!

Monday, November 28, 2005

I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage

I first heard about this on Planetdan, and I'm sure I've forwarded most of you this site. But while looking for the t-shirt company you can purchase these AWESOME collectables at, i failed to realize how popular the religion has become!

Needless to say, I absolutely LOVE this site, and am in the process of ordering a coffee mug. Don't be suprised if you find a mug in your stocking this year from me, a devout FSM pastafarian.

'Tis the Season

This is the time of year when many people are setting up Christmas decorations, celebrating XMas, and eating ridiculous amounts of food. But what about those of us who are different? What about those of us who practice a different religion? What's out there we can turn to since we are so jaded by society and shopping?

Not to worry.
Festuvus - A Holiday for the Rest of Us.

What is Festivus?
Who celebrates
Didn't Cassie send me an ecard
last year?

Yes my friends, let us gather around the pole this year, air our grievences, and eat comfort food. But no tinsel. It's distracting.


What it is: Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Why you do it: Because you were weaned improperly as an infant.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Gluttony is linked with the pig and the color orange.

Yes. America is indeed, Glutinous.

My holiday weekend consisted of going to Josh’s parents’ house and my own “family’s” gathering, at Ed’s in FOCO.

It started out on Thursday by me making a green bean casserole for the green bean deficient Thanksgiving meal at Josh’s parent’s house. Unfortunately, his cousin showed up with the same side dish.
Why did I even ASK his mom what I should bring, if it was a free-for-all to begin with? I mean, I about fell over when I found out GBC wasn’t going to be at the table, but I really wanted to try out this pumpkin soup recipe I saw on The Food Network. If I had know that EVERYONE wanted to bring GBC, I would’ve done that instead.
Even though his cousin’s dish was in a pretty dish, and LOOKED similar to mine – OF COURSE – mine was better. I mean, who likes soupy GBC? She had added extra milk, cream of CHICKEN, and I think she even said butter.
Mine was just like it said in the directions, except I take out the milk and add my SECRET INGREDIENT: EXTRA French Fried Onions.

I know. Crazy, huh? I really go all out –

Which is why I was so bummed that they didn’t pass MY dish around. But then I realized, the less people eat MY dish, the more leftovers we have at home! HOORAY!!! The dish itself sat on a side table behind Josh, and next to his parents – so it only makes sense that his mom and dad were the only people to partake in all of GBC fresh, crunchy glory. Bless his dad’s heart, he even got seconds!
But if you noticed that I didn’t mention Josh eating it – you were correct.
He did not eat ANY of his girlfriend’s dish at his family’s dinner.

Am I loco here? As my mom said, isn’t that in Boyfriend Rules 101? You ALWAYS eat your girlfriend’s dish and then exclaim, “That was the BEST GBC in the WHOLE WORLD!!!!” – right?

Well, it didn’t happen for me on my first Thanksgiving with Josh. Apparently after repeatedly asking him to try it, he informed me that he was too full eating everyone else’s dishes.

I guess he made up for it by accompanying me to Ed’s house for Thanksgiving on Saturday, where we met the most wonderful grandma in the world: Ed’s smoking, cussing, and drinking granny. She was wonderful. She was so funny and didn’t know what was going on half of the time. I just loved her. Ed’s family always makes me feel good about my own family. I just mean that I feel glad that I’m not the only one who has ‘interesting’ family members – if you know what I mean. I won’t go into it, but a proper mother and father, drunk granny, gay son, fundamentalist Christian son and daughter-in-law, and a crazy 8 year old who throws insane temper tantrums makes me feel like I fit in just fine.

I can’t wait for Christmas!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Satan Van

So i was driving to work today, when i saw a SATAN RULZ chevy van. It looked a little bit like this:

I have added the appropriate impliments to give you an idea of how Satanic this van was. Decorated to the max with assorted stickers.

I know. You don't have to say it.

I got the skillz to pay the billz!!!

I don't know why it made me laugh so much. I guess Satanist have upgraded their tastes in vans from circa 1970s wizards to a little more class....
Rock on Dude

Monday, November 21, 2005

Happy Birthday!!!!

Can you believe Bjork is 40? She sure doesn't look it

In honor of Bjork's b-day, i have decided to post the picture Josh put together for me for LocoMoco's 1st birthday in October!
I was thinking of having this as my logo, instead of the logo along the side. I wonder if i can get it stretched across the top....

Whadda ya think?

Friday, November 18, 2005

Did I just take the blue pill, or the red pill?


Read it and WEEP!!!!!

Thanks Josh! Good thing i have a boyfriend who thinks my ideas RAWK!

.......and works at a t-shirt place.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Ode to Easy Mac

I’m sure everyone has had Kraft Easy Mac. If you haven’t, you are really missing out. This is a WONDERFUL product! It comes in a little snack packet, that is perfect size for lunch or a snack. All you do is add water and pop it into the microwave for 4 minutes! Seriously! Why haven’t they thought of this before? I love Kraft Macaroni and Cheese dinner anyway – but I don’t like eating leftovers. Blech. So the perfect solution to that age old problem, “I want fresh Kraft Macaroni and Cheese while I’m at work (or at home) but I can’t cook it. What is to be done?”
Well, the old answer was either bring a small container of leftovers from last night, or suffer. Personally, I would choose the latter – but now I don’t have to! I get the perfect portion, fresh, and fast!!

What you didn’t know about this wonderful invention, is that if you’re still hungry or the portion isn’t big enough – there’s directions on the package of how to cook 2 packages at 1ce!!! Now personally, this is a bit too much for me. If I’m feeling a little extra hungry, I eat a side salad (usually $1 from Wendy’s) or I even bring a can of tuna, to make tuna-mac! As I understand, a few of you (a-ron) like to put peas and sausages in the mac, too. You know, those are items easily bagged and brought with you There are endless possibilities for Easy Mac!

I think the best thing I like about Easy Mac, is of course the short time it takes to make, and that there are only 3 steps – which hardly constitutes as cooking.

1. Empty contents into bowl
2. Add Water
3. Heat

The easiest, cheesiest schnack on this side of the Equator!

Just look at this guy -------------------->
He is so in love with Easy Mac, he can't even WAIT 4 minutes!!!!

But cereally – if there is another quick and easy cheesy meal, feel free to let me know about it! I’m always game to finding a quick and easy snack! Especially one that tastes so good.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

This could be mine.....

So since my unfortunate let-down of the prospective job in KC, i have had to make some hard choices.

Basically, with encouragement from A-ron and my mom, i have decided to go back to school for my masters degree. I would like to combine getting my masters with spending some time with The Peace Corps. Everyone reading has probably heard me speak of The Peace Corps since i got out of school, but now i think i'm ready to do it.

I had a 5 year plan when i got out of CSU. In 5 years, i wanted to have enough experience under my belt to start my own landscaping company. The interview i recently went on showed me that i have what it takes to do this. But my restlessness wasn't consoled by this discovery. i realized that while i have the time, initiative as well as the experience needed for when i come back, i need to make things happen instead of just talking about them.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying. That's goddamned right."

So i have set in motion for finding out more about the Peace Corps International Masters Program. As it turns out, one of the only places to get this masters in Agriculture is - you guessed it - CSU. Looks like if i get acceppted to this program, i'll be right back up at The Fort where i fought so long and hard to get out of. At least i'll get in-state tuition!

I don't anticipate even starting until Fall 2006 semester. i have to pull up my GPA and apply at least 6 months in advance. i've definatley got some work ahead of me. I will do 1 year of classes at CSU, and 1 year of field work. Sounds like fun - even when i think about living in a hut and wiping my ass with a rock.

Wish me luck!

Monday, November 14, 2005

I don't think this quiz is accurate...

You Are Tequilla

When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk!
You'll take any shot that's offered up to you...
Even if it tastes like sock sweat!
And you're never afraid of eating the worm.

Let's get serious for just a moment

So as most of you know, I went on an interview last Friday. Since I was in town, Amber came in from St. Louis and A-ron came in from Gladstone to come hang out with little ole me – in order to find out how my interview went.

Well, the interview went fine.
The company was great.
The perspective boss was great.
The issues were thus:

The owner was not nice. To translate, I mean he was kinda jerky, and his office would be right next to my design areas
I interview with a guy named Frank who turned out to be a friggin’ psychologist who asked me ‘What is your favorite tool?’ and ‘What do you have to say about the font you used on your resume?’. They didn’t tell me he was a shrink, and they also didn’t tell me why I needed to take an aptitude test after already completing 3 personality tests before I flew out there. He also concluded that I identified more with my mother than my father, and that I was in the right field of work. WOW. That’s a doosey. Especially since he only talked with me for an hour. Good thing he can read people so well.
They didn’t talk money. Katherine said this is usually normal, and Don agreed that they will probably discuss this over email if they are interested.

I found it all very odd, and very disappointing. I aced this interview. Too bad the company is weirdo. I think if they really liked me, they would’ve offered me something while I was there. My mom thinks they want a Johnson County girl who is blonde, 100 lbs and doesn’t have an email address with a muppet name at an all grrl magazine.

Okay. So maybe next job I apply at, I will get a gmail account. But C’MON!!!! I’m in the landscaping business people!!! They asked how many tons of rock I could move in an hour, and when I asked them if they meant now, or back when I was in the field, they didn’t even crack a smile!!!!

I’m sad. I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. I built this up so much, but as it turns out, I don’t think I can work for a stuffy corporation. That’s why I went into landscaping to begin with. I relate better with people who aren’t necessarily so PC, people who curse, and people who go to the girlie bars after the company softball game!!!

I’ll bring it down a notch, and pull a Jerry Springer -
Moment of Reflection:
I’m completely confident in my abilities to accept this job. I wasn’t stretching ANY of my qualifications. I am actually a good catch when it comes to perspective employers. Maybe this interview gave me the well needed confidence boost to realize that I DO have what it takes to get flown to a city for a job interview. I DO have a great personality that shines under pressure. I DON’T want to fit a mold, and I LIKE the type of person I am. Any company would be GLAD to have me.

Thank you BT for wanting me to move in with you and letting me crash your hot tub party. Thank you Katherine, Tom and Don for making me understand how bigger corporations execute job interviews, and that I’m not crazy. Thank you Amber and A-ron for making me feel tons better about my situation – and I’m happy you don’t want me to give up and keep applying for jobs in your area. Especially thank you to my mom and dad who never doubted me for a second. (especially thank you mom for making me the layered pumpkin cake so I’d feel better).

And now – I will concentrate my work and quit fucking around!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A Holiday? For ME?

This can't be just shagging.
A mini-break means true love.
Suddenly feel like screen goddess - in manner of Grace Kelly.
Though perhaps ever so slightly less elegant under pressure.

So I am going to KC this weekend, as most of you already know! I am being flown out to check out a certain landscape company that possibly wants to hire me! Hooray!!!

The assorted friends and family I have talked to have said that if the company is flying me out for an interview, it is a good sign that they are really interested. In fact, I have been told that short of an episode of How I got into College when that girl took off her blouse during her interview - it’s almost in the bag. (cross your fingers i don't do that, guys!)

So why am I still nervous as hell? I mean, I know my business, I don’t necessarily NEED this job, and I’m not even sure if they’re going to offer me the same as what I’m making. But I’m busting my butt to get my portfolio up to par, and I’ve already determined what I’m going to wear – but I have NO idea what I’m going to say!!!

Typical interview questions:

1. What is your greatest strength?
2. What is your greatest weakness?
3. Where do YOU want to be 5 years from now?
4. What salary are you seeking?
5. Tell us about yourself.
6. How do YOU handle stress?”
7. How do you deal with difficult people?

I’m dead people. Dead.
I just know I’m going to go Bridget Jones on their ass and let whatever is in my head come out of my mouth – like WORD VOMIT!!!!! Then I’m going to talk too much about something stupid, or they will ask me something and I keep repeating myself.

I am HORRIBLE at interviews. Just horrible.
Any suggestions?

Monday, November 07, 2005

I think it's the boobs...

Quiz Result Provided By:

What Anime Vampire Are You?

Hosted by Anime. Done right.

My baby don't care for shows....

So i was just minding my own business yesterday, when out of NO WHERE - Josh decides to buy me a present. And what present would Josh possibly think to give me? You got it! The Magic Bullet!!!
An item i would never ever buy off TV, but have been wanting for over a year! i mean, you can make delicious chocolate mouse in 30 SECONDS!!!!!

I'm so excited to try out my Magic Bullet! i can make all sorts of yummies that took so much longer before this amazing appliance!!!

Actually, i love infomercials. Especially late at night, when i get home from the bar. That's when they're most effective.
Do you ever watch them, or even those As Seen On TV commercials that make day to day functions look SO HARD if you don't have their product?

For instance:
Topsy Tail - it's a ponytail maker. you didn't think pony tails were hard, right? well did you see how tough it was to make on the commercial? Those people kept messing up their hair and wearing out their arms because it took them like 4 HOURS to do!!!

Ab Roller - did you SEE how hard it was to do ACTUAL sit ups? How have we been doing it with out help? i mean you can do 5 and you're pooped!!!

And that Handy Chef - it's a spatual/tong concoction that allows you to GRAB your food! did you see all those eggs people were dropping on the commercial cause they didn't have that top tong? Geez. Poor breakfast! What are we going to do?

I guess i really like their faces when they are TRYING to function the 'OLD' way! it's just so HARD!!! and then they get frustrated and start pouting - on TV!!!! hahaha!!!

Now - as you will remember, The George Foreman Grill started out as an infomercial - now it's in 1 in 5 houses in America!

Wow. Maybe the Magic Bullet will be next.

Friday, November 04, 2005

OCD = No Wire Hangars

Just kidding. That was just crazy Joan Crawford!

Hemingway, i was watching The Aviator a couple days ago, and if you've never seen it, DO! It's a great movie! I had no idea Howard Hughes was such a weirdo! It got me thinking about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Now, i've always thought i had a little bit of this inside me, but it's NOTHING compared to what this disorder is really all about. I guess i used to think extreme cases were bizarre, yet not so bad. i mean, i love the show Monk, and i always thought if you just controlled it a little, it wasn't a big deal. But The Aviator showed me that ESPECIALLY in extreme cases, it is a very very scarry disorder.

i don't know how these people live day to day, and what they do if they don't have any money/income! they can barely leave the house! Yikes!

I mean, that crappy movie with Jack Nicholson did NOTHING to show you how bad this disorder can really be:

"Hughes became addicted to codeine (injections), valium, and other painkillers, was extremely frail, stored his urine in jars and wore Kleenex boxes as shoes (although it has been reported that Hughes did this only once, as "protection" when a toilet flooded). He insisted on using paper towels to cover any object before he touched it, to insulate himself from germs.
As he deteriorated, Hughes moved to the Bahamas, Vancouver, London, and several other places, always living in the top floor penthouse with the windows blacked out. Every time he moved out, the hotel seemed to need to remodel to clean up after him.
Hughes died on an aircraft en route from his penthouse in Mexico to Methodist Hospital in Houston on April 5, 1976, at the age of 70. He was unrecognizable, and the FBI insisted on fingerprints to identify Hughes' remains. The autopsy determined kidney failure as the cause of death. His body was in extremely poor condition; X-rays showed broken off hypodermic needles in his arms."

Can you imagine living like that?
And i thought my family was anal about how to load the dishwasher properly!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I heart Mean Girls

Janice Ian

Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

That movie is so f-ing funny! i watched it 3 times this weekend with Ed and Paul! hee hee!!!

By the way, i absoultely LOVE Quizilla! How fun! i could stay on there for HOURS!!!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

A Long Time Ago.....

In a galaxy far, far.....
HEY wait a MINUTE!!!! That looks like LA!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005 can't go trick or treating at The Gaines's house

Hawttie of the Month

Okay. So i haven't done a Hawttie of the Month in a while, so i've decided to update this latest installment because it's my blog - and i can.

i was driving to my bank over lunch and that song, "can't get you off my mind" came on (which is an awsome song) and i started thinking about Lenny Kravitz. Okay. Just the name is odd.


Weird, huh?.

Hemingway, i also started thinking about how hawt he was when he used to have those long dredlocks.
And i also started thinking about what an awesome sound, style and attitude he has. He is soul funky or something - and although i hate that 'american woman' song (as well as a couple other overplayed pieces of crap) he's got good rythm and beats.

So this months installation is

Lenny 'Hawttie' Kravitz.

Jason - Ar-on - i know you appreciate this:

Is anyone out there drooling yet?

Don't hate him because he's beautiful......

Wow. I'm going to go to the gym right after i look at these photos one more time.....

and i need to quit eating these Zingers.......