Thursday, May 11, 2006

Dear John....


So, I’m not sure what to do in this situation, and I need all the advice you can give me!

I have a co-worker, who must be closely related to Laura’s Officemate. I’ve probably told you about the blowout we had over one of my designs last week (I won’t go into it, but my boss had to talk to her about her unprofessional attitude). My dilemma is closely related to her, as her partner is also my hair stylist.

For a few months now, I have been unhappy with her performance on my hair. When I get my hair done, I get a cut and color, and most likely new hair products (shampoo, conditioner, gel, etc.). Well, the last few times I’ve gone to her (and I’ve been going to her for 2 years now) – she hasn’t given me the cut or color I’ve wanted. Also – the last few times, she’s been over an hour late with my appointment! Don’t get me wrong, I like helping out a friend with a new business – but I pay over $100 per visit with tip just to wait an hour, and not come away happy with my hair?

So I’ve been building up the courage to tell her I was going to someone else. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone else. PLUS, I took Josh to see her a few times, and when she found out he had been going to Great Clips – she gave him all kinds of shite about it! I tried to explain to her that he doesn’t care about a $30 hair cut, and he likes going down the street to pay $12 instead of driving 30 min away to the ‘burbs just to get the same thing done! I can tell she was disappointed, but at least I was still her client, right?

Wrong. After the great blow up my co-worker (her partner) and I had, I decided to check out Kurt’s friend’s brand new salon. It was a similar situation for his friend Andee, as my old stylist. She just opened a shop, but because she had been out of the salon business for a while, all her clients had found other people! She needed new business bad! So after telling her continuously that I would make an appointment, I did so – out of anger and relief! And so what happens? I get the best hair cut and color since 1997!!! She did exactly what I wanted, and didn’t try to talk me out of my ideas! I gave her a few tips (i.e. I need my color to be dark, but not too dark, I need to be able to pull my hair back into a pony tail, hide my cowlick!) and she was able to cut in her own style and own ideas, without infringing on MY ideas! PLUS she gave me a hip cut which doesn’t look too indie, but also doesn’t look like I’m an old woman! And the cherry on top of my sundae? Her salon is only 5 min away from my house!

So here be my dilemma: I have to let my other stylist down easy. Why is this difficult?

  • I work with her partner who is a very tough woman to work with, as well as a grudge – holder. We are already having our own problems, let alone the hair issue! I assume she has already told my stylist that I have a new hairdo… I have to be diplomatic.

  • I really like my stylist on a friend level! I’ve been to her house, she goes to my gym, and we were even planning some hikes this summer!

  • I can’t just NOT stop going to her and not say anything about it. Sooner or later I will see her again, whether it be here in my office as she’s visiting her partner, at the gym, or at work functions.

    Plus – she’s been a good stylist to me – giving me free shampoo and hair cuts when she was at her corporate run salon!
    So I was thinking of just sending her a card at her salon. Saying something to the effect of, “I love you (as a friend), but I’m not IN love with you (as my stylist)”. I REALLY want to say, “because you are never on time- which makes me late, you never do my hair right, your shop is in BFE, I need a younger, hipper style, basically just don’t want to spend $100+ on a crappy hairdo.” But I can’t say that.
    So how SHOULD I let her down easy? It’s like a Dear John letter – only Dear Monique!


Amber said...

I think you should be honest, but tactful, you don't have to use words like crappy or sucks or anything like that, but say that you found someone that can read your mind or something. I think that it could only help her in the long run to know that she's not really giving the best hair-jobs. If you're unsatisfied, chances are there are other people that she is not making happy too.

heather said...

I agree Amber. Honesty is the best policy. It's pretty much a no-win situation and feelings will be hurt, but hopefully she is mature enough to respect your honesty. I'd even go as far as telling her that you have been trying to find the right way to approach her without hurting the friendship.

Aaron said...

Geez, I'll never understand women.

Cas, if it were me, I'd just go somewhere else. You're not obligated to go anywhere or do anything. Your reasons for switching are valid. It's not mean to tell her those reasons, it would be meaner to not tell her.

Aaron said...

Where did you find that image? Did you notice the date? That poor GI was probably on some island digging some nips out of their holes so we could all enjoy writing letters in English today. Talk about uncouth.

If your stylist is really your friend, she'll understand your reasons for leaving her (professionally).

locomocos said...

yeah, i thought that letter was really funny!
Poor guy! But that girl couldn't be more than 18! I mean, look at her punctuation! Bubbles?

I especially like that she says he drives a blue convertable. No wonder guys think women are impressed by their cars! I guess back then, they were!

Denny said...

I really think that you arent obligated to say anything at all. If she is any kind of professional in her trade she would have or will come to you wondering why hasnt seen you at the salon and if there was a problem it is her responsibilty to find out what it is and if there is any way to rectify it. If you guys were that good of friends there would have been a discussion the first or MAYBE the second time you werent happy with your hair. I mean your the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror every day and not be happy with the way you look and spending a 100 $ a pop to boot. What a wonderful way to start your day with that thought in that back of your mind. As for your co worker, well maybe she is just a bitch and should calm down and really has nothing to do with the hair issue-- unless you were all the greatest of friends once upon a time and if that were the case i would think that this would have been discussed like big people do. either wayif it were me, fuck em, its your hair.

Paul said...

"digging some nips out of their holes so we could all enjoy writing letters in English today." What do Cheese Nips have to do with speaking English? I know, Cassie! Send her some Cheese Nips. I mean, if they can help people speak English better they might be able to help her cut hair better!