Monday, January 30, 2006

Babies in Movies

No no. You might be thinking that I’m talking about what makes a good family comedy other than a chimpanzee – sadly, no. I’m talking about bringing babies to movies.

Last night I went to go see Underworld Part Deux. This will NOT be a movie review –so don’t worry. This movie was too average to have a review other than the fact that I thought it was NOT a family film. But apparently those in the audience of the 5:30 matinee at the United Artists Denver Pavilions did not share the same view.

My opinion why this movie was not suitable for children under 8 – which all kids present were well under 8 years old:
1. It was rated R
2. There were tons of people getting killed either by sucking of blood, decapitation, guns, and the ripping of jaws off (which is why I’m convinced it got the rating of R)
3. There was a hot sex scene which showed pretty much everything except parts. Let’s just say – it didn’t leave much for interpretation (this MIGHT be covered in the R rating, but I’ll have to check)
4. The language was proper for an R rated movie, meaning that there were a lot of f-bombs
5. Excessive use of titties and blood. Now, I know I covered this above, but I would like to add that there were titties, blood, people turning into werewolves and people eating other people. Why do I mention this again? Cause this is what makes a good horror movies. I know I know, “But Cassie, you love zombies, dammit!” Tis true. But I also love horror movies as a whole, and this had a whole lotta horror – which could possibly be a reason why it was deemed a rating of “Not suitable for Children without Parent Supervision”.

So if I might sum up:
This movie was not acceptable for children who are still grappling with the concept of ‘is this movie real’ and ‘Dad, what is trick photography’ (heh heh heh – I love that term). I just don’t think the Rating System really had in mind that you could bring babies to the theatres who were crying the whole time because they were so freaked out by a scary movie. Are we TRYING to raise sociopaths?
Okay, so that MIGHT be a little over the top –
But am I crazy here?
I remember babysitting when I was 13 years old going to see Ghostbusters 2 – and all 4 of my young charges were scared shitless at Vigo popping out of that painting! We unfortunately had to leave the theatre (which, at the time sucked cause I thought that was a GREAT movie) because they were so scared!
So why would someone take kids who were around the same age to a terrible film like Underworld 2?

I understand if people can’t get a sitter – but if you have to bring your kids along to a movie, why not go to a kids movie? Or even a comedy or PG love story? And why weren’t they taking their kids OUT of the theatre when they started crying? Cause they didn’t want to miss out when that vampire got blown to smithereens when the bomb detonated? Geez!!!!
I think they need to start making signs to follow “Please turn off your cell phones” that say “if you were dumb enough to bring your baby to this rated R film, please take him out of the theatre when he starts crying so he’ll only have nightmares for 1 week, instead of 3!”
I some of you have kids, nieces and nephews. Would you take your children to these types of movies when they were that young? Or even now? What do you think about this new trend? Do you think there is some validity to the belief that violence on the TV and movies leads to maladjusted adults? Could we be contributing by allowing our kids to see these movies before they are mature enough? SOMEONE GIVE ME THE ANSWER!!!!!


totalvo said...

I saw this Hit movie Underworld Part Deux this weekend as well, and indeed it is a thrilling, bloodsucking,jaw ripping, tittie TITalation, sexcapade of a film. There were no children in the theatre when I saw this film. BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TAKING CHILDREN TO SEE THIS STUFF, I remember seeing Kill Bill volume 1 and 2 and sure as shit there was a grip of kids in the theatre.. Bull crap.. I say leave the little at home with the sitter watching dvd's of barney or what ever kids watch theses days, and leave the good ole fashioned R rated films for the grown up's

heather said...

I had a similar experience when seeing Duece Bigalo European Gigalo. Even worse, it was at 8:30pm showing on a Sunday night. I assumed it was parents bringing their daughter along because they couldn't get a sitter, but I agree. They should have gotten a sitter or waited until it came out on DVD. The little girl looked like she was 6~8 years old.... by no means old enough to be hearing the language, sex, or drugs in the movie. I wanted to say something to the couple, but I refrained.

Amber said...

I don't think children should be allowed in public places until they are old enough to drive themselves. If they walk then it's not as bad, but if their parents are present, it's inexcusable. Lock 'em in the basement.

S E E Quine said...

` Well, I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know I wasn't allowed to be in public until I was eighteen, so I never interacted with anyone at any time besides a few people.

` It's strange what parents let their kids watch. On the other hand, when I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch Salute Your Shorts because of the theme song:
` 'Camp Anawana, we hold you in our hearts, and when we think about you, it makes me want to fart!' 'No! It's I hope we never part! Now get it right or pay the price!'
` Just that was enough to get my dad violently angry if he caught me watching it! He'd say; 'Goddamn kids shows usin da word 'fart!' Those fucking bastards are polluting your mind with bad words!'
` ..and then later we'd watch Duckman together!

` Well, that's insanity for you once again ladies and gentlemen... BTW, new IOASMS post!

Aaron said...

I like babies. They're good poached with a light red wine sauce.

I was at the bowling alley on Sunday night and there was a couple there bowling with their kids. What's wrong with this? It was 11:30 at night.

So is it the silly horror movies that corrupt young minds or is it the complete lack of oversight and common sense on the part of their parents? I think my opinion is clear.

S E E Quine said...

` My dad used to make me stay up all night until 4 in the morning or so and then blame me for his insomnia.

` ...but enough of that, already! He doesn't count as a parent!

Amber said...

yeah, really
why do you call him dad anyway!?

heather said...

I completely agree Aaron. I get so tired of seeing children throw temper tantrums in stores when they don't get what they want. Any why the do it is the most disturbing part, because they know the parents will give in.

Laura said...

I think our society has gotten way to relaxed with their parenting skills. If I may go even further, I'm not sure when it stopped being everyone's responsibility to look out for all kids, not just their own. I mean, 50 years ago it wouldn't have been a big deal for you to say, "hey, this movie has blood and gore... you might want to see Bambi instead" but now, you could get shot! I don't think that the parents of the world are worth half the water they drink. I understand I'm childless therefore don't have much means of backing up but on the same hand, c'mon! They are KIDS, you teach them right and wrong, not the different body parts of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Seriously, don't have kids if you don't have a clue about them. They are simple, innocent little things that not only need guidance and protection but also someone with half a brain that will be there for them.

S E E Quine said...

` Actually, I usually call him 'Jerry'... I'd call him Jerry the Rat, but I like rats too much.

S E E Quine said...

` And I'd say something to what Heather was saying, only I'm still not that familiar with normal parents.

S E E Quine said...

` And Laura.

` I'm just commenting a lot because it's fun. Makes you look like you have a lot more activity going on at least....

Aaron said...


jason said...

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back RIIIIBBBBBSSSSS.

S E E Quine said...

` Just popped by to say I'm about to go to my new apartment. No more computer! WAAAH!