Friday, April 28, 2006

Looking Within...

So, I’ve run across a couple ‘Hero Pages’ when I Googled Captain Jean-Luc Picard while trying to find a photo of him. I thought some people had some pretty funny ideas, especially as I started Googling people’s pages for whom they thought they most likely resembled.

I decided to do my own page of Heroes I Admire VS. “Heroes” I More than Likely Resemble:

Who I want to be like: Who I most likey Resemble:

Storm VS The Bowler from Mystery Men

Dignified, Wise, Sexy, natual leader = I throw things when i get mad

Murphy Brown VS Bridget Jones

Saavy, No nonsense, professional reporter = Complete idiot with or without fireman's pole

Captain Janeway VS lwaxana Troi

Firm, fair, natural leader, inovator = eccentric, crazy, presumptuous

Marie Curie VS The Farside Comic

brilliant woman in the time of male chemists = ME

Natalie Portman VS Tara Reid

glamorous, intelligent, respectable = drunk party loudmouth

Hilary Clinton VS Ted Kennedy

intelligent, can hold her own = 'nuff said

Andy (Goonies) VS Stef (Goonies)

dating the dream boat = making out with a 12 year old

Grace Kelly VS Ellen DeGeneres

Graceful = no grace

Wayne Campbell VS Chris Farley from The Chris Farley Show

has a great talk show and knows how to party = Van down by the river


I got this from Kurt, and thought it was pretty funny!
Of course, according to Hipster Bingo, i might just win a prize!

You've seen the warning signs, you can tell somethings not quite right so nows the time to do something about it. A step-by-step guide on how to rid yourself of a hipster infestation.Have you recently found yourself asking any of the following questions?

Whose fixed-gear bicycle is that in my garage?

Where do I keep misplacing the charger for my iPod Nano?

Why are there vast amounts of food mysteriously not missing from my pantry and refrigerator each week?

Yes? Then, chances are, youve got hipsters.

Hipster infestations have become commonplace in modern times. One day, life seems completely normal. The next, youve got an anorexic in a train-conductor hat scurrying across your kitchen in the middle of dinner. This, understandably, can be a pretty disconcerting sight.

Not to worry, though. While hipsters can really slaughter a nice mood, they are otherwise harmless and probably just as frightened of you as you are of them. Still, they are a nuisance, of course, and need to be treated as such. Following are suggested measures to pinpoint the location of hipsters in your home, coax them out from their hiding places, and capture and return them to their natural habitats.

Zeroing in on Your Hipsters

An effective way to start your search is by identifying all the nooks and crannies wherein hipsters may hide. Most commonly these include the crack between the wall and the fridge, underneath French baguettes, behind their iPod Nanos, and between the pages of Charles Bukowski books. These are all great places to begin looking. (Note: If you are feeling brave, demand that someone justify Bukowskis literary merit. Frequently this will prompt the hipsters to emerge, incredulous, indignant, and sometimes crying.)

Also, hipsters prefer dank, dimly lit areas, should you have any in your abode. These provide ideal quarters for them to set up makeshift darkrooms in which they can develop the countless photographs theyve taken with their vintage cameras. Usually, these are pictures of idled trains, abandoned bus depots, or of themselves (for their MySpace profiles).

Finally, keep a sharp eye on dressers and closets. Hipsters love tight clothing, usually on the darker, more weathered side. Have any pairs of your 14-year-old daughters jeans suddenly gone missing? What about her nail polish kit?

For many, this suggestion sparks additional fears: If hipsters are ransacking my daughters closet, how do I know they wont cause her any undue additional (i.e., sexual) harm? Parents should rest easier knowing that most hipsters are either asexual or bi-curious. That being said, it would be a good idea to keep an eye on your son, too.

Capturing Your Hipsters

Youve located where your hipsters are camped outnow comes the hard part.Hipsters are freakishly antisocial; some argue it is genetic. This trait becomes especially magnified in unfamiliar or non-hip environments. So, the last thing you want to do is alienate hipsters further from society than theyve already alienated themselves. Here are a few things you must understand before attempting to communicate with hipsters:

1. Hipsters know more about music than you do.

2. Hipsters know more about clothing than you do.

3. Hipsters know more about Charles Bukowski than you do.

4. Your sense of fashion is fin (bad).

Embracing these ideas as fact will not put you on the same level as hipstersthat would be ridiculousbut it will let the hipster know that you are keeping it real, which they can respect, sort of.With that, youll want to open the dialogue on a fairly benign topic so as not to indicate that you mean the hipsters harm, or that you are in fact a poseur. Here are some suggestions:

That deck [good] Conor Oberst is signing autographs at Amoeba Records today.

Check out my new tattoo! (Or new fixed-gear bike.)

Anyone for a really small slice of vegan soy pizza?

Maybe theyre sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. Hipsters have usually attended a liberal-arts college for at least two years, however and are thus extremely smart and often wont take the verbal bait. In this situation, you must be cruel to be kind and exploit the hipsters Achilles heel: music.

There are two approaches to smoking them out musically:

1. Play non-hip music, and play it very loudly. Remember, hipsters all have iPod Nanos, so its going to have to be extremely ear-shattering to overpower the sonic armor of Death Cab for Cutie. Recommended selections include anything by Kenny Rogers or Green Day, or Radioheads Hail to the Thief (hipsters generally agree that this is when Radiohead sold out). Really, any popular, major-label artist will do the trick.

2. Play music they enjoy, such as Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, the National, or Monorchid. These recordings may prove a bit harder to find, however, so theres always the the band theory: the Strokes, the Faint, the Hives, the Killers, the Vines, the Bravery, et al. are usually considered deck by hipsters, despite their popular major-label status. (Note: the The, however, will NOT work using approach number two. See approach number one.)

When it comes to The bands, you might ask: Well, which one? Dont hipsters like one better than the others? Trust us when we tell you that it isnt going to make the slightest difference.

Returning Your Hipsters to Their Natural Environment

Hopefully by now, youve got the hipsters out in the open. Maybe theyre sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. This is totally normal, and means youve done everything by the book thus far.

Yet at this stage you will likely encounter the following critical conundrum: When removing hipsters from your home, your paternal instinct may kick in at the sight of their waif-like appearances, and you will feel obligated to nourish them. Do not attempt to do this.

In the first place, it is highly unlikely you have hipster food. Kraft macaroni and cheese or microwaveable Bagel Bites will only make them angry. (Though it completely defies logic, hipsters also know more about food than you do.) Hamburger Helper is a grave insult to hipsters and will undoubtedly evoke a derisive response along such lines as, Do you have any idea whats in that stuff?!? Obviously, no, you do not.

Moreover, it should be noted that hipsters eating cycles differ greatly from those of non-hipsters. As an example: What are the chances of you uncovering your hipster infestation on, say, the third Wednesday (or designated feeding day) of that particular month, and of having enough organic soy-based products in your fridge to feed them all? Admittedly, it would not require much. But, you have to agree, the odds are pretty slim.

The best thing for them, and for you, is to simply return hipsters to the habitat from which they came. And dont think you can just pile them into the SUV and drive them there. They will spurn you for your wanton consumerism. Get that archaic road bike out from the garage. Theyll probably buy it from you when all is said and done and cruise it around the local arts district to coffee shops and record stores until they are all given low-paying jobs based solely on their stylish appearances and morose demeanors. Hipsters are much happier when they are poor (although youd never know this by looking at them).

With the hipsters now returned to their milieu, you deserve a pat on the back. Keep alert for future infestations, though, and be thankful you had hipsters instead of hippies, who can lower property values and are harder to eliminate.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I Live, Therefore I Rant.....

As I was driving to work today, I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Defend America, Defeat Bush”. This is a most common bumper sticker I see in the area I live in. As I get closer to the area I work in, I see more stickers that say, “Bush/Cheney” and “W’04”. No biggie, right? Well, I had a problem with the bumper sticker that said, “Defend America, Defeat Bush”…..

Not for the reasons you think, I’m sure. No, I’m not a republican nor a democrat. I’m non-party affiliated, and more often than not, believe that “the man (= the government) is out to get me, man!” and “Die Yuppie Scum” (to sum up my crypster age at least). My problem was that the bumper sticker was taped to the inside window of the vehicle.

Beginning as far back as high school, I believed this was a sign of a poser. Some kid trying to rebel against their parents by listening to Fugazi, had the balls enough to actually TAPE the band sticker to the car their parents bought them. This action told me:
A. They are not real Fugazi fans
B. They are not to be trusted
C. What is to stop them from taking the sticker down and replacing it with a Color Me Badd sticker since it’s so easy (unlike a bumper sticker) at the toss of a hat?
D. Do they REALLY feel strong about Fugazi – enough to decorate the car their parents bought them? And what kind of kid gets a new car bought for them in the first place? Obviously not some punk kid that I ran around with circa 1993!

Yes, yes. In all relative terms, I’m pretty young to be bitching. But I was bitching about it back then, when my car was chalk full of band stickers I searched high and lo for! I would save up my money every summer to come out to Denver from KC to go to Wax Trax, just to get cool stickers and T-shirts you couldn’t even remotely find in the Midwest! HEY!!! I STILL have those goth boots I bought with pointy toes, and skull buckles at Fashion Nation! I just CAN’T give them up after not wearing them for 10 + years! Okay, Okay, I’m getting off the subject…..

The subject is the same after 14 years:
If you have to say something to the point of buying a bumper sticker and proudly displaying your views of the world on your car, for god’s sake, attach it to the fucking car with the glue it came with! Don’t think you are sending the same message with your scotch tape and “I can take it off my brand new yuppie car much easier when it’s not cool anymore” attitude. I don’t care if you’re conservative OR liberal! Just stick to your guns! You seem just as flaky and ambiguous in your beliefs as most of our politicians! Are you THAT lazy that when your sticker becomes faded and dated you can’t just go out to your car with a razor blade and soapy water? If you’re THAT put out by your views, then maybe you shouldn’t be displaying them at all. It might be more worth your time to just drink some wine at your friend’s cocktail party and spout your views after you’ve become a bit tipsy. That way if you change your mind about it later, you can always blame it on “that one night at Joe’s house”.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I WON!!!!

I won this cook book off of ebay!
Isn't it exciting?
Only $5!

In the spirit of the Weight Watcher's Cards, i have decided to expand my horizons, and learn how to cook -

Unbeknownst to Josh, i am going to be cooking out of this lovely Betty Crocker cook book circa 1964! When liver was GOOD for you, and everyone wanted to own a microwave!

I can't wait!!
Anyone want to come over and try out some recipes? I bet there's some GOOD ones in there!

I've decided to make one a week - and will do a regular post on the delicious foods young people starting out were eating back in good ole 1964! I hope it's chalk full of colorful photos!!!!

I can't wait!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Report: Fortune Cookie Received in 1994 Finally Showing Results!

Someday you will get the recognition you deserve.


I finally got a result when i Googled my name! All the time, other Cassie D's were getting their names up on the web - and none for me!


Now granted, i don't post my last name too often, i like to keep the anonymity - but since i got the "Seal of Knowlege" for Greenco, and I got registered as a Landsape Professional in the Town of Caslte Rock - i FINALLY get to see my name on the internet!


You have to scroll down to the CALCP section in white. it's in alphabetical order....

I don't know why they put my name under that section, but i think they just threw everyone at my company there, even though we are ALCC as well.....jerks....

AND when you Google my name, it comes up for the CSU Career fair! Weird, huh?

So then i came across this site, which is really creeping me out. You can find out all about me if you pay $9.95 online!!!
I know you can do searches on people, but never ones that tell you possible relatives!

So apart from that, i'm pretty excited to be recognized by Google.
Now: if i can only get LocoMocos to be recognized, i think i will have it in the bag.
Caff - did you find out how to create your blog into an actual website? Maybe is should do that.....gotta get the mocos out there......

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Report Photos: 12 Mile Hike Starts Out Beautiful and Ends Up Bane of My Existence

This is Rhiannon on the top of the hill i ate my breakfast on.

This is the remains of a homestead from Mexican immangrants circa 1899

This is an old chapel with cemetary. There were some really awesome headstones in spanish I will post on my other site.

This is one of the dinosaur tracks by the riverside. My foot is the fat one.....

This is me tired out of my brains on the way bay to that cute little mexican homestead. At the time of this picture, i wanted to set up my own home in there, and never leave. only problem, was the well was dry, as just like my water bottle.

I look serene. but really i was an inch close to passing out infront of an old abandoned stove, ready to be eaten by wild dogs.

I'll post more to my new picture blog if anyone is interested. I started one just for photos.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Shoooo Schweeeeeet!

Look what my sweetie bought me for our anniversary!


What a sweetie!!!
Thanks baby!

I think it's hilarious!!!!

The Dream is Alive

Is it a sport for you?

The basic idea in chessboxing is to combine the no.1 thinking sport and the no.1 fighting sport into a hybrid that demands the most of its competitors – both mentally and physically.

In a chessboxing fight two opponents play alternating rounds of chess and boxing.
The contest starts with a round of chess, followed by a boxing round, followed by another round of chess and so on. In every round of chess the FIDE rules for a ´Blitz game´ apply, in every boxing round the AIBA rules apply with the following extensions and modifications:

In a contest there shall be 11 rounds, 6 rounds of chess, 5 rounds of boxing.
A round of chess takes 4 minutes.
Each competitor has 12 minutes on the chess timer.
As soon as the time runs out the game is over.
A round of boxing takes 2 minutes.

Between rounds there is a 1 minute pause, during which competitors change their gear. The contest is decided by: checkmate (chess round), exceeding the time limit (chess round), retirement of an opponent (chess or boxing round), KO (boxing round), or referee decision (boxing round). If the chess game ends in a stalement, the opponent with the higher score in boxing wins. If there is an equal score, the opponent with the black pieces wins.

don't forget to find out how this glorious test of skill all started.....

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Joe Lewis vs. Jesse Jackson

i have been following the Duke Lacrosse case on NPR, and heard a couple of commentaries that i thought were very good.

The first was a commentary on the actual sportmanship and how we as a country are enticing our athletes to have the attitude that they are 'untouchables'. The writer is a sports writer who is very good, and very passionate about sports. Everytime i hear one of his stories, i begin to think that maybe i've forgotten about what passion actually is - even for jocks.....

The second was a commentary about the ethnicity aspect of the case. I also thought this was a good editorial, as it has been on my mind as well.

Give them a listen when you have time - at work, at home - they aren't very long. let me know what you think......

Monday, April 10, 2006

I volunteer, so therefore I care.....

So my friend Rhiannon and I volunteered this weekend for Volunteers for Outdoor Colorado.
The project took place south of La Junta, CO in Picket Wire Canyon. You might have heard about it lately due to the dinosaur tracks found next to the river in 1991. So this project was all about cutting down the destructive and non-indigenous plant, tamarisk, out of protected National Grassland areas.
You got to camp down there at night and work hard for the environment during the day. It sounded like heaven.
Too bad I missed the caravan into the canyon.

Apparently, we had just missed the last shuttle into the canyon (it was in a protected military area, so no outside vehicles). We drove 3.5 hours like the dickens, only to be late without any cell phone reception in the middle of nowhere.

What to do, what to do.
I told Rhiannon we should make chicken salad out of chicken shit!
Let’s go camping anyway!

Although she didn’t appreciate my humorous analogy the moment we realized we were screwed, she reluctantly agreed with me.

There was plenty to do in Picket Wire Canyon! Mainly, the dinosaur tracks!

Luckily there was a new campsite 3.5 miles from where we were, with 1 spot open – just for us. We set up tent, and drove the half hour back to town just to get supplies for the night/next day.
We stayed up till the wee hours of the morning just shootin’ the shite, and ended up spending the rest of the night trying to sleep in a tent, on rocks. Fun fun fun! Good thing I had my iPod to drown out all the noise of nature! Otherwise, I would’ve been up every 10 minutes saying, “What was that?” Off to sleepy land for me! Rhiannon was not so lucky. She told me the next day she had only slept a couple hours.

Well you would’ve never known it by her hiking abilities. We did a full 12 mile hike with only a few 5 minute rests to include bathroom breaks, re-applying sunscreen, and grabbing for water and power bars. We got to the dino tracks after 3 hours. But unfortunately we got there around noon – and the convoy from VOC was returning at 2pm. Rhi wanted to meet up with Paul (who had been there working all weekend) and so decided to start back ASAP after a 10 minute pause to look around. We started back with my feet killing me, and only 1 16 oz bottle of water for each of us. Although she was determined to make it back in only two hours – I was walking WELL behind her. We did a pretty good job at covering about 2 miles in an hour, but I couldn’t do the remainder at the same pace. Rhi then gave me the back pack and decided to run the rest of the way back – including back UP a mountain to get out of the canyon. I though she was crazy.
It took me the full 3 hours to get back to the top – with no water, and blisters the size of quarters inside my 8 year old worthless hiking boots.
I mean, ME? Run? Have you SEEN my boobs? They were objecting from the bumpy car ride into the camp ground alone!

So I think for my first hike of the year, I did a great job. Next time I will get new boots for support, more water, and a better sunhat to shade my delicate alabaster skin, which is now the color of salmon! Kudos to Rhiannon who ran up a mountain to meet Paul – only to find he had already left at 8 minutes after 2 pm when she arrived! Holy Crap! I guess there really IS a benefit to being a health nut!

As for me – I rewarded myself by eating a nice meal of Indian food, and drinking some Dale’s Pale Ale out of the can!

And not to worry. I have photos to post which will explain everything!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the Opinion

So i saw that movie Slither last night. Kurt and I (especially Kurt) went with low expectations, but came out of the theatre pleasantly suprised.
No. It will win no awards.
But it wasn't too bad. It had all the great elements of a horror film - even with a little extra!
It had:
Mutated humans/animals
Suspense (as much as a cheesy horror movie can have)
Humor (i was suprised at this)
and most important:

Just kidding. It was pretty funny, though. The plotline had the same premise as The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Let's just say it was loads better than the other horror movie out now called Stay Alive. That one was a little less than average. No boobies at all.

So Kurt and I had been discussing how bad it COULD have been - when I brought up a list of bad movies we had seen recently.

I added a few more to my list to include DVDs and and anything I saw on the tube.

Top 5 Worst Movies I've seen within the last year:
1. Birth
2. The Forgotten
3. Elizabethtown
4. Reality Bites
5. The Tuxedo

The last 2 were on TV, and i had to turn them off. Have you seen Reality Bites lately? I used to think it was good - but i couldn't even watch it for Janeane Garofalo or hottie Steve Zahn!

Top 5 Good Movies I've seen within the last year:
1. V for Vendetta
2. Night Watch (this is the first in a trilogy! yea!)
3. Mirror Mask (is this out on video yet?)
4. The Squid and the Whale
5. Brokeback Mountain

If there are any good movies out now, i would love to know! Any suggestions on DVD or theatre?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Interesting Poll

Paul sent me this as he knows how the abortion issue is always on my mind:

It has to do with the new governor elections for the state of Colorado. The candidate in the lead is a democratic pro-lifer - BUT what is interresting is that Colorado is THE ONLY state that has been polled where a plurality of people do not think that abortion is morally wrong.

Read on:

When asked about the abortion issue, a bare plurality of Colorado voters, 44%, say abortion is not morally wrong (43% say Yes)—unique among states we've polled on this question. In other states, a plurality or majority say abortion is morally wrong even when there is no majority support for an abortion ban. In Colorado, 54% oppose a ban on abortion similar to the one passed recently in South Dakota.

Here is the link to the poll


So Josh decided to up our cable $10 and get HBO and On Demand. I had no idea these options were so cool! At first I was very skeptical and thought it was a waste of money.

But no longer.
After last night, I change my position on cable.

I watched the new HBO series Big Love.
I had wanted to see this series after hearing a short synopsis about it on NPR before it premiered. Of course, the problem was that I didn’t get HBO, and I didn’t know anyone who did, who would be willing to tape it for me.
Well since Josh decided to pay for cable – we now have it. And not only HBO, but On Demand, which apparently means you can watch certain shows like DVDs (pause, stop, rewind – all of it!). What a wonderful invention! I thought that was what TIVO was – which I knew I would never experience!
So – back onto the show:

As if normal family life isn't enough trouble, Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton, Twister, Thunderbirds) has everything in triple: three wives, three houses, three families. Bill's first and only legal wife is Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Word of Honor) but he also shares the bedroom with middle wife Nicki (Chloe Sevigny, Boys Don't Cry, Dogville) and youngest wife Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin, Ed, Mona Lisa Smile). Bill also has three new adjoining houses, seven kids, and a booming hardware business. The series kicks in as Bill receives troublesome news about his father (Bruce Dern) who lives in a fundamentalist community in rural Utah.

So there is so so much more to this show!
Within the first episode you get to know a little about how the family works, and who each character is. It’s a little bumpy at first as you try figure out who is who, and what the attitude of this family is toward what most people think about polygamy. The best line is when all wives are talking to each other and saying, “We are all here by choice”. I think that sums up the morals behind what this family is doing compared to their ‘extended family’ left back at the compound.
I anticipate this as being a great show, despite “You’re dogmeat, pal” Bill Paxton. To be honest, I think he’s like dry toast. But his wives! Oh the wives!
The First wife is Barb – who’s character is determined from episode 1 as the mature, level headed ‘knows who she is’ wife. She handles all the household issues, as well as all the wives’ allowances. She also has a part time job as a teacher, which shows her intelligence and independence. I believe we like her immediately.
The Second is Nikki – who is insecure, jealous, materialistic, and very immature for her age. She plays the part of the only wife who was raised in the ‘compound’ who still wears her hair in a braid and dresses like Laura Ingalls. We dislike her immediately, but soon realize that she’s got her own demons to fight with, as well as a lot of growing up to do.
The Third is Margene – who is the youngest, and most insecure. She is bubbly and inexperienced, as well as the most sexual. She seems to get along with Barb’s oldest son more than the other wives. At first you’re not sure about her, but as she catches all the shit from jealous Nikki, we begin to sympathize with her as she questions the path she’s chosen.
The other character I’m excited to see is the oldest daughter, who happens to be ‘Karen’ in Mean Girls. And she knows a lot more than her ESPN was letting on. She has expressed her views against polygamy from episode 1, and is trying to understand the morals she was raised with, as well as her mother’s odd choice after so many years.

Despite some of the reviews, I anticipate a great drama described by the writers as “aimed to create a nonjudgmental portrait of plural marriage” which is true since the series focuses more on the practical and emotional aspects of polygamy than on its moral or ethical aspects.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Ludo says: TASTES BAD!!!

I've never seen this before! What have i been doing for 35 years?


p.s. and when i said Ludo, i didn't mean Paul's ex-frenchy boyfriend. I meant THIS Ludo. Which movie is he from? C'mon Ladies!