Friday, October 14, 2005

I had bugs for lunch......



Well, i thought today would be a good day to eat that tuna salad i made last week. it has been in the fridge at my work since last Monday (okay, so i guess it's more than a week....) but DAMN!!! STAY AWAY from 2 week old tuna salad with bacon bits in it! I about fell over! Completely lost my appitite!

What happens to food that makes it smell and look ThAT BaD!!!!??!!!

So i guess i'll be eating my ramen noodles again. Wish i had that fan thingy to help out.

But that started me thinking about what was some of the rankest shit that has ever come out of my fridge. I mean, sure stuff gets bad if you leave it in there over a month - but some more than others!

I can remeber some egg salad that turned green. Not from mold, mind you - but Oscar The Grouch GREEN. I know some bacteria is having a hay day - but yikes! and what's up with stuff that USED to be solid, but then it sits for a while and the water drains out of it to make an interresting soup? Anyone forget about that bagged salad before?

Which reminds me of the time when i was little i was obsessed with my toy kitchen in the cellar. We lived in an old house with a storm cellar in northern Missouri. Albany, MO population 1500 people to be exact (which i'm sure it's around 900 now...my high school was bigger!) So we had a play room in our storm cellar that had my old play stove and sink in it with our little wooden table and chairs. Actually, my dad made my stove and i don't remember what happened to it (it was really cool....made out of plywood i believe - i should get a picture from my mom!) and the sink and fridge were old olive green tin, which i'm sure every kid had as well. So anyway, i was obsessed with finding willie worms (fuzzy catapillars and keeping them in a bucket - but i could never figure out where they went (we actually had a crysillis on our front door only once - but that's another story)! I alsoo thought that with my little pet willie worm, i would put him in my little kitchen in the basement, and make some food for him. I pulled up so much grass i'm suprised that there wasn't a huge bare spot in the yard. i treated them like green onions, which i saw my mom cut up all the time (yuck). I pulled off the green blades and put the roots and dirt in a little pie pan and added water from the hose. i put the greens in the willie worm's bucket - but then realized that there was too much of it. So i decided to stick it in a mason jar and put it in the 'fridge' for tomorrow, when i would change out the grass.

okay so i forgot about it the next day - and it actually turned into a month sitting in the humid cellar in a mason jar. i finally found it one day and remember my poor willie worm died last month in the freezer cause i accidentally forgot it in there (don't ask, i don't know why i put him in there. i was probably trying to punish him for not wanting to play with me - that sounds really sadistic). Well, to 'land the plane' as my mom says, i opened that jar of grass and water to smell the worst smell i have ever smelled in my life. Of course i can't remember the smell, but it burned that memory so far into my head that i will never forget it.

So what does that have to do with my story? it just reminded me of bagged salad.

any other bad smells? i think eggs are the worst.

15 comments:

Aaron said...

I'm with ya, bagged salads can get pretty nasty after a month. I understand why the lettuce turns brown, but I don't understand why the water, or lettuce broth, turns brown.

Bad eggs smell nasty, but I believe they are on par with bad milk.

Aaron said...

BTW...Temple of Doom is the movie i've watched second most. First is The Neverending Story, third is Better Off Dead.

"I'm going back home to Missouri, where they never feed you snakes, before ripping your heart out and lowering you into a hot pit! This is NOT my idea of a swell time!"

Amber said...

Worst smell?
If you're talking food related would have to be the rotting meat that the japanese photography students left in the freezer at my aparment in KC. Even the cockroaches weren't bothering it! ugh.
Worst smell, non-food has got to be this strange smell that was coming from the building behind my work last summer. I'm sure it was a body in the drain pipe or something.

Amber said...

Great movies! I guess we COULD watch a movie together....

Amber said...

Cassie, I never knew that you weren't so dementedly cruel to bugs as a child. I'm crestfallen.

jason said...

Worst smell, hands down....is roadkill that been cooking in the hot sun for about a day or two. That smell can knock you down at 50 paces. A close second for me is raw chicken that's been sitting in the trash for a week. That is one smell that I truly can't stand. Who's hungry?

Mom said...

This is not a smell story, but I used to give you a piece of a hot dog to eat when you were around 1 year old. One day I saw you pulling something out of the toy box and chewing on it. It looked like a wrinkled brown finger. It turned out it was a hot dog you had thrown in the toy box to enjoy at a latter time...I about fainted!!

Denny said...

Im going with the roadkill too. I had a cat crawl up in the engine compartment between the radiator and fan and decided to die(my guess is it got cracked in the head by the fan). Im sure that I had been driving around for about two weeks in the middle of July before the most putrid thing I had ever smelled began to fill up my car. I was so bad that I couldnt get it out. I paid a crackhead $10 to fish it out. It came out in several pieces and i had to powerwash the car out 6-7 times to get it clean and still ended selling the car because the smell wouldnt come out. By far the foulest thing ive ever smelled. uhg.

S E E Quine said...

1 - Raw sewage, especially when you're trapped in the sewer.

2 - Dead human body, rotting in an open field in the summertime. Actually, I guess it isn't so bad, though I really hated the fact that my friend argued that it was an open sewer, because the two smell nothing alike!

3 - Pre-mortem, mutilated-amputee, dead freezer-burned gerbil in a plastic bag. A gruesome tale!

4 - The catbox my cruel parents just had to keep by the dining room table when I was a child - I'd be punished if I asked to eat upstairs, which was every time I watched a cat *using* it...

5 - My own sweat, congealed blood, rotting flesh, and oozing pus after about five days or so of continuous and untreated festering without so much as a shower. No, you definitely don't want to know...

6 - Squirming bird embryos whose eggs have cracked because some kid was throwing rocks at them.

` Actually, I guess those aren't necessarily the worst smells, but they are when connected with traumatic memories.
` Amazing how the brain works!

S E E Quine said...

` Also, I had no idea that Willie Worms turned into MONTHS! That's very interesting...
` Heehee!

locomocos said...

well thanks to mothers who remember and REMIND that i used to eat monkey fingers as a child.

that's what we called the OLD hot dogs at the 7-Eleven. What's worse, is that people actually used to try and SELL them that way! You know, since they're losing so much money on a hot dog from a $1.00 package of 12, while selling it for a grand total of $2. They were making a 100% profit, and STILL they sold the monkey fingers!!!
gross.

i agree with bad milk. i also think that if anyone has ever been in an old lady hair place that crap they put on perms smells pretty bad too.
jason- were you apart of roadkill detail for your parole or something?
Denny- does that cat story have anything to do with that christmas story in Gremlins? What about that Seinfeld BBO episode?
and Quine - dead bodies, sewage, blah blah blah. Tell me more about this insanity with the cat box in the DINING ROOM!!!!
AAAAAahhhhhhhh!!!!!

S E E Quine said...

` Hahahahaaaa!
` Yep. Sadly, had to eat in full view and smelling range of the catbox. Pretty disgusting.
` My dad was insane, and my mom did nothing about it. Actually, this should give you an idea of my childhood...
http://seequine.blogspot.com/2005/03/importance-of-recognizing-abuse.html
` When I was about twenty, I couldn't stand the catbox even when it was in the closet behind the fridge. It still smelled, even though I cleaned it four or five times a day, as I'd have to each time I wanted something to eat.
` My mom and her boyfriend, however, argued that it didn't smell at all and that I was paranoid, and every time I would attempt to move it, one of them moved it right back!
` I took the box outside, hosed it down with the hose and dish soap, then I left it in the sun to dry. (Lucky for them, the cats had another box in the bathroom.)
` Unfortunately, the particleboard floor in there stank to NO END! Phil came over that day and I said; "God, do you smell that?" And he said; "Yeah, that catbox is nasty!" And I said, well, it's behind you, out the window there." And he was like; "Oh GOD! NOOO!"
` True story.
` ...And then he got a job at Boeing just so I'd have a place to live that didn't have a catbox-scented closet by the kitchen!
` That part's not true. Actually, I just sprayed a bunch of vinegar and baking soda in there for a while, and eventually, the smell went away.

` Also, the thing with the cat in the engine... that's happened to a friend of my brother's, except the cat wasn't actually bludgeoned by the fan - it just got a close shave! My brother opened up the hood of the car and this partly-balding cat and all this fur came flying out...

Aaron said...

That thing with the cat happened more than once at my grandparents farm. Speaking of bad smells, have any of you ever had the distinct pleasure of visiting a pig farm? A large pig farm can put a serious funk around an area of several square miles.

jason said...

I had forgotten about the perm smell...that is definitely toxic. I dreaded getting drug to the salon with my mom as a child for the fear that I would have to smell that god-awful odor. I forgot to add another to my list....parmesian cheese. Honestly, I can't figure out how people can eat that stuff. It smells like ass flavored feet. I have a hard time even sitting next to someone eating it in a restaurant. The sad thing is that I 've heard that there are worse smelling cheese out there. Funny, at one point in human history someone created that cheese and decided it was worthy to eat. Our society stands on the shoulders of the creative, the enginuitive, and the plain ol' crazy.

locomocos said...

omigod!! my dad and his brother had this great idea to BUY a pig farm when i was little. That didn't last very long, but guess what we got to do on the weekends with my pop at age 7! YEP!!! GO FEED THE PIGS!!!!

i've tried to forget about it....

and isn't it funny that parmesean cheese and roller skating rinks smell oddly alike?

STINKY FEET!!!! EWWWW!!!!!