Thursday, August 11, 2005

Apparently, this programmer hates his job

While frustratedly sitting in front of my non-cable tv, i grew weary of watching the crappy reruns of a below mentioned show for an hour straight.

i decided to do something about it. i thought the television channel would be appreciative of my suggestions and so i wrote an email:

Dear UPN 20-
While i greatly enjoy all of your programming, i would like to make a suggestion.
I really started getting into Star Trek Voyager right when you were taking it off the air a few years ago. Are you going to be replaying this series anytime soon? I would really like to see this program back on. i think it would fit nicely in the HOUR that Home Improvement airs. i really think everyone is Home Improvemented out - especially since there aren't too many families that sit down to watch it at 10:30-11:30 at night. Please Please Please put Star Trek back on so i can see all the shows i've missed!!!
Home Improvement vs. Star Trek Voyager (what i saw of it)
Tim builds a crappy go-cart out of washing machine - which he blows up in the basement
vs.
Sexy Tom Paris builds the Delta Flyer - A SPACE SHIP THAT SAVES THEIR LIVES!!!!

The weird neighbor Wilson always has something "clever" to say - but he's too imbarrased to show his face to anyone
vs.
That weird ALIEN cook Neelix ALWAYS says clever things, and isn't afraid to share them with the entire Delta Quadrant
Episode plots:
Jill wants to become a psychologist and explores the difficulty of being taken seriously by her family
vs.
a holographic doctor wants to become REAL and deals with the PAIN in realizing he will never be a human being!

Heartthrobs=
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
vs.
Seven of Nine
Need i say more?

Thank you for your ear, and your time! :)
Sincerely,
Cassie D********



I eagerly awaited a response that paralleled my humourous yet informative suggestions, and this is what i got back:

Voyager is no longer available in broadcast syndication. It has been sold to cable to my knowledge and is exclusive to cable at this time. We owned this contract through 9/04 and had exhausted all available runs months before our contract expired. As you recall we stripped it on a M-F basis for well over 5 years and had to end it runs early than we would have liked due to contractual obligations.

We will certainly take a look at this show, if and when it is ever offered in broadcast syndication. At this point, your suggestion is simply not possible.

On another note, Home Improvement is one of our highest rated programs in late night.

Thanks



Clearly, he did not forward my crazy antics onto his co-workers and laughing about it at the coffee machine - like i thought.
I thought that instead of just asking a simple question like - are you going to play this show again - i would make is humorous and light hearted. i wanted the individual to smile while reading my suggestion, forward it on as a joke, and quite possibly ponder the idea i so effectively debated. I thought, while chances were slim, i would at least get a witty and appreciative response.
It looks like the guy answering the programming email just churns them out. No personality and no flare (definatley not 15 peices....) involved!!!

I say BOO to UPN channel 20's email guy!!!! BOO on your SOUL!!!!

p.s.
Home Improvement SUCKS MY AZZ!!!!!!!!

7 comments:

Kurt C said...

Well, hey... at least they responded. And it didn't read like it was a form letter. Apparently they would give us our "Seven of Hot Ass" if they were able.

And as for Home Improvement being their highest rated late night show... damn. There must be some sorry people out there. Or every other channel has infomertials on at that time...

jason said...

You are lucky you got a response at all. At least they read your mail and gave you a valid answer as to why Star Trek is no longer on. As for the Trek, I've always been a Next Generation fan.....not big on Voyager.....I think the captain wears her underwear a bit too tight and also hasn't been laid in a loooonnnnggggg time, by a man or woman (her sexuality is definetly questionable). She is just way to bitchy for my tastes. I do agree with you on Home Improvement....that has to be one of the worst shows in television history....and the fact that it went on and on and on for years is a sad testament to American tastes.

Aaron said...

I bet I've never one episode of either of those two shows in it's entirety. I'm not able to give an opinion on the content of the shows. It's good that you didn't get a form letter. Some guy took time to write every word.

Mom said...

I have to agree with everyone. You got a longer, more thoughtful respone that I would have expected. And, since he was speaking for his employer, being too humorous or witty in response would have been looked upon poorly.

Anonymous said...
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locomocos said...

WTF was that?
has anyone else gotten advertisements on their blogs? what a waste of space!!!

So, i myself am a huge STTNG fan, but alas, i know Spike TV has the rights to the show - so no chance in UPN 20 gaining it. So they USED to air Voyager, which is why i thought they still might. My point was this:
That guy who answered my email sounded like a crabby jerk. Maybe it wouldn't have been professional to write a funny email, but was it professional to write a snotty email? Was i the only one who read it that way?
maybe i'm overreacting!

but alas.....i don't get spike tv, so i can't even watch it if i wanted to.

and i bet that guy was the guy who BOUGHT the rights to Home Improvement - which explains why he defends it so vehemently.

Aaron said...

You're right, that guy probably loves that show. He probably likes little boys too.