5 Reasons Why Cassie’s Troll Hole Blows:
Reason #1 The Troll Hole = No light
They call it the Troll Hole for a reason. My windows – though big – do not get any light as there is a large apartment building 5 feet away. Consequently I get to hear people in the large building across the concrete alley clearly and often, as the reverb between the buildings is deafening.
(notice the radiator on the ceiling directly above my futon!)
Reason #2 Crappy Carpet
I don’t have money to buy a rug – but if I did – I would. I would almost buy new carpet at the flea market and just lay it over the concrete floor with a layer of outdoor carpet. Oddly enough, I have been in other units in my basement, and they actually have wood flooring! Wood or carpet = padding for concrete. Lets just say I always wear shoes, as my feet get TIRED walking around my apartment! Not to mention there is a gigantor burn mark from an iron! Did someone forget to pick up their iron 20 years ago – and the building owner thought it made the unit ‘unique’? Hmmm….
Reason #3 Cabinets too high
The trolls the apartment was built for must have been as tall as Kurt (6’4”) cause he’s the only person unaffected by the tall cabinets. Granted I ALWAYS have a foot stool around cause I’m short(ish) – but this is ridiculous. I have to stand on my tip toes just to get down my pots and pans! This IS, however, good for when I want to hide cookies from myself. Old Monkey-Arm Christman actually laughs at me for this. Grrr….
Reason #4 1 closet
Men may have no problems with this – ladies? 1 closet means that all my clothes, coats, cleaning products, towels, etc. have to find space to hang out in this baby. Luckily it’s deep, but functional? Yikes. I was under the impression that to call something a bedroom, it had to have a closet. My apartment has a miniature ‘bedroom’ with no closet save this one. I actually use that space as my storage area, as there isn’t any reason to use it as a ‘bedroom’ anyway. Ugh.
(is that the 3 Men and a Baby boy?)
Reason #5 Ghostly Sounds
Well this is why I woke up 4 times last night. Pipes, people, and creaking make this apartment scary. When the boiler turns on all pipes in my apartment start to BANG! And if you don’t remember my Casa Bonita bathroom – those pipes go all over the ceiling! I even have radiators on the ceiling! It’s weird.
But not as weird as waking up at 3:15 am to clang that can only be described as in Jaws 2 when Brody is banging on that electrical cable – above water that is.
If you have any reason to doubt my incredulous mood swings over the past month - need I say more?