Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Beautiful House Reason #1

Well, I've decided to document all the reasons why my new basement apartment blows.

I'm not ungrateful, mind you. This is a good apartment for cheap rent on a month to month basis. You don't find those too often - especially with an excellent land lady who takes care of business. Unfortunately, unless she wanted to shell out mass quantities of dough, it will take a lot to transform this little unit into something other than "The Troll Hole" (her words, not mine).
First impressions:

Small, bad carpet, weird noises, basement-y.

I will now describe Issue #1 – My Casa Bonita Bathroom.

If any of you have been to Casa Bonita here in Denver, CO – you will no doubt remember the basement. It looks like a cave with beige stalactites and stalagmites made out of concrete. Very fun for kids and if you’ve never been there – I suggest you go. I enjoy it myself, and have been multiple times in the last year. Not the best food, but fun to get Corona in a bucket.

Hemingway, my bathroom. The bathroom has a textured paint in it which is a dark beige color which matches one of the walls in the ‘living room’. It was a home job, which means a past tenant decided to try out his handiwork of an episode of Trading Spaces he just saw. A coating of a hardening material was applied and molded into a round ‘fan’ pattern. No biggie, right? Well once he reached the ceiling, instead of stopping he decided to take the goop right up overhead. One important key factor he didn’t anticipate. Gravity. The goop was too moist to hold form when hanging upside down, and dried into stalactites, much like in a cave of calcium carbonate and mineralized water. To give it that ‘Casa Bonita’ look, he applied the dark beige paint. As if to emphasize his glorious home d├ęcor, he painted all the pipes running through the bathroom (from all the upstairs tenants) copper. Apparently the pipes which were most likely painted white to blend in with the ceiling - needed to stand out, therefore accenting a horrible paint job with a spray can, and a bloody awful stucco-esque job.



(please note the light globes in which only turn on above the mirror on the fixture)

As I stood at the sink on my first morning, I was pretty content with my shower. I figured out the fine tuning it took to get the water just right, stepped out on my little mat, and made sure not to lean too heavily on the sink, as it was crackling off the walls. I was flossing my teeth, and making those funny faces everyone does in the mirror, when I felt a drop of water. I looked around and saw nothing. I continued my routine. Another drop. I tried to ignore it. But lo – Casa Bonita would not be ignored. Finally I looked up and saw one miscellaneous pipe without insulation on it, packed with water droplets from the condensation of my shower –directly above my head while standing at the sink. One phrase came to my mind:

It’s gon’ rain on yo head

From The Color Purple


Yep. My bathroom rains on my head every morning. Reason #1 why my new apartment blows.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Moving Day!

Okay, you're right. Too much Star Trek!
So for moving day, I would like to thank everyone who helped out - especially Denny. I will never move again without wardrobe boxes. Those things RULE.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting








Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

p.s. This and That - I'm not trying to be flaky! I really want to give you that chiminea! I just gotta get my azz in gear and get it over there! I PROMISE!!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

No time to post!
Moving Moving Moving!
Hooray!!!


This goes along with my scenarios post down below....

what if....what if...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

National Pancakes Day!!!

Go out and support the Children's Miracle Network by eating pancakes!!!

Pancakes!





National Pancake Day!!!

No Time to Post

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I have no time to post. Moving, Working and Stressing will do that to you. I will continue to post picutres which may or may not envoke conversation.

I will give you a topic:

If one is really Too Legit to Quit - and if you Can't Touch This, then why is MC Hammer Bankrupt and broke?
Discuss.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Uhh...Bones?


I don't remember this episode....

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Scenarios

So I wanted to discuss some scenarios that are regularly debated at my house.

1. Death Star vs. Borg Ship
stipulation: what if beaming weren't allowed?




* this is not my artwork - i found it....



2. Gandalf vs. Dumbledore






3. Sauron vs. The Empire



4. Darth Vader vs. Picard
stipulation: the force may be used - but only as in Star Wars Episodes 4-6 (not earlier ones)





5. General Moff Tarkin vs. Mr. Burns




I think the last one is pretty funny.
I had no idea until writing this post that there were chat rooms FULL of discussing these scenarios! I thought it was just my house after drunk night! ha!

Love



Well Folks - Happy V-Day!




In honor of this corporate holiday created by candy and card companies, I give you the Valentine Josh made for me, which is really really sweet!!!








On the other side of the coin, I have put together a collection of Anti Valentines! Take a gander at my photo blog, but as a preview, I'll post one funny one for you all!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Lemme Borrow that Top, Betch!!!

I am addicted to Kelly.

Seriously.





http://www.myspace.com/kellylikesshoes



Take a listen on Myspace for free. Sit back, minimize her page, listen to them ALL!!


and hey, afterwards, let's go get some Shoes!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Fresh Meat!!!

This hilarious, satirical website has kept me entertained for hours on end at work. Bravo LPCS!





About Being a Chad


You’ve got the looks, you’ve got the money. What else do you need? Well, a good car, a “tight” condo and a trophy wife. You were born with good looks and daddy gave you a trust fund. Now it’s time to live in Lincoln Park and live how everybody else wants to live.


About Trixie


Trixies can be found in packs of 4 – 6. You can spot Trixie packs by their loud obnoxious talking and white-girl dancing. Trixies sport Seven/Citizen jeans, cute frilly tops, trendy purses like Louis Vuitton Pouchettes or Speedys , Gucci Pouchettes, or Allison Burns’ bags. Kate Spade bags are so out, only defective Trixies carry these. Tilli’s on Halsted is a great resting ground for Trixies.



Check out the 'Slumming, Wicker Park' entry. It was great!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I wish I were here:


Livin' Evita Loco


I am only a simple woman, people!!!

My boss has got me working my AZZ off, so in honor of not being able to post, not being able to read other blogs, and more importantly, not being able to eat my lunch, I will leave you this funny onion opinions page! It made me laugh out loud, as I identify with all 3 views.




The Onion


Student-Loan Interest Cut


The House of Representatives voted to cut interest rates on certain student loans last week. What do you think?



Notice that they said *certain* student loans. This will most likely end up not being ANY of my loans, and I will therefore be more like the second opinion guy (referee) more and more. I've already deferred for 3 years, and my loans will still accrue interest while in the Peace Corps. Boo.
Stupid Edukashun. What did you ever do fo me?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Snowy Day Haikus


How I love pancakes.
Buttery and golden brown.
A son back from war.

Corndogs are the best.
Ketchup only please, Thank you.
Birds of a feather.

Why is it snowing?
I long for warmth and sunshine.
A land shark at sea.

I want a scooter
Must save money for Peace Corps
A dried up stream bed

Why is my work dull?
I have plenty to do here.
A lazy squrirrel.

I could totally be on 'The Apprentice'

Peace Corps Meeting 2

So I’ve turned in my fingerprints, background release form, and recommendations – next step is a second interview!

Tuesday morning I head down to the Denver HQ and talk with my recruiter. She asked me some of the same questions you would ask in a job interview, cause hey, it’s a job. I think I did really well as they were questions like this:

Tell me about a time you had difficulty supervising someone, and how you managed it.
~ I kicked him in the balls and then I fired him.

Tell me how you deal with stressful situations.
~ I drink mass quantities of booze

Have you ever had to change your appearance for a position you were in?
~ If someone doesn’t like my appearance, I smite them.

Have you ever had to teach someone something new, and they were unresponsive?
~ My boyfriend still cannot close the shower curtain after he’s done. I’ve failed.

What do you do when you get angry or frustrated at work with a co-worker?
~ I punch them in the nose and then use my pepper spray.

She seemed to relate to most of these responses, and told me that I still needed a reference from a volunteer supervisor and an evaluation from a Spanish teacher to determine what level I am at. Since I never took Spanish in school (I learned from Guatemalans and Hondurans – so it’s pretty sketchy) I have enrolled in a Spanish Immersion workshop through Colorado Free University. It should be pretty fun. I know absolutely NO grammar, so we’ll see if I can reach a level 1. I’m studying my butt off at home out of an old textbook….

So where it sits: If I reach a Spanish level 1, my recruiter said she could nominate me for a position in Central/South America (I don’t know where) leaving in September. If they don’t accept my Spanish skills, I will most likely be sent to French speaking Africa. Yikes. Although there are a FEW programs she can look up in Eastern Europe. We’ll meet again to determine where I go if SA doesn’t work out.

Current situation: I’ve had an orientation with Volunteers of America (most likely Meals on Wheels, but they did ask me to design a play ground next month), and I’m studying Spanish. I’m also currently looking for a place to live, as we are getting the boot from our house. Our land ladies want us to sign another year lease, as opposed to the month to month verbal contract they had agreed to a couple months ago. So Josh has a new pad, and I’m looking to get rid of ALL my junk and living out of a suitcase in some cheap apartment. Sound fun? Looks like I’ll be living in a 3rd world country a little earlier than anticipated.

At least I have an air mattress.