Friday, September 29, 2006

I think my car is Christine’s evil cousin, Janet.

My Deductive Reasoning is as Follows:
EXHIBIT A

-You know how Christine was a 58 Plymouth Fury?
-Well Janet (as she is now called) is a 66 Dodge Dart.


Connection: Dodge and Plymouth were closely related, they were both 4 doors, and very long.

EXHIBIT B
-Christine was purchased for $300 from some dead dude’s crazy brother.
-Janet was purchased by my x-boyfriend from Amber’s old roommate, Darla.

Connection: My ex-boyfriend had a crazy mother who used to ‘borrow’ money from him all the time.

EXHIBIT C
-Christine loved her new owner, Arnie, SO MUCH that she would try to KILL anyone who hurt him, or anyone of whom she was jealous.
-Janet apparently doesn’t love me at all, as she has KILLED my bank account while I’ve owned her. She shows her ‘jealousy’ by breaking down with me in it ALONE on the highway.


Connection: Both cars can break hearts. Literally.

EXHIBIT D
-Christine gets damaged, and then magically fixes the problem brand new ALL BY HERSELF.
-Janet has to be sent to the mechanic, and as soon as she gets home, she decides something totally unrelated to the first problem has to be replaced for around an additional $400
.

Connection: Both cars have problems at some point. They just handle them differently.

Conclusion:
I’d rather have a psycho car that has a taste for blood, instead of a taste for liquidating my checkbook.

12 comments:

Amber said...

Cars suck. The sequel to that movie is going to be about me going around axing every auto that crosses my path. Maybe I'll even be riding around my Luna (the Stella) while I do it.
Sadly, these problems with Janet are the exact reasons Darla wouldn't sell the car to me at the time. She lived with me and couldn't stand to see me having the problems she had been having.

Laura said...

That sucks, Cassie!!! You should sell it to some other unsuspecting person rather than continuing to throw money at it!! I heard Aaron is looking for a Dart!

Anonymous said...

` That's really creepy. Also, you're a non-logical genius!

caffeinator_x said...

What a nightmare... My feelings about cars, pretty much square w/ Amber's. I can't stand the things. If I could do it logistically, all of my travels would be done by cruiser.

This and That said...

I love cars, but I say sell it and get a nissan versa!

Anonymous said...

` Hybrids are useful!

Aaron said...

I've told you about this car before.

It's nice to get a free car as a gift, but you need to separate yourself from this car as soon as you can.

America is married to the automobile, for better or worse, til death do us part. It doesn't do any good to pretend that it's not true.

Hybrids are a fad and will die out as soon as we find a cheap way to produce hydrogen.

The fact of the matter is... get ready.... the cheapest way for Americans to get around/do business/live/survive is in automobiles fueled by petroleum. Until that changes, America will be married to petroleum.

locomocos said...

i'm all for hydrogen, too. but i think you're right with America and Petroleum.

it's just like those $1 Sacagawea coins they tried to introduce.

I thought those coins were a great idea! When i was in Europe - they never had Euros for lower than 10e - all the 1s, 2s, and 5s were in coins! It was great!
So they tried to do that here - but they didn't take away the dollar bill instead. So the American people who still are 'married' to the dollar bill, never got separated from them completely, which lead to the disaster of trying to integrate coins - which are cheaper and easier to produce!

so i guess i'm saying i agree with what you're saying - did i already say that?
whoops!

Amber said...

I disagree, change will be gradual, not a grinding halt, but it's already changing. I'm pretty sure the Midwest/South will be the last to pick up on this change, and maybe places like Montana. But if you counted to rise in scooters and bikes I see everyday over the Auto, you'd realize that this is truly happening.
My point in this is not to deny the dependence on petroleum, but the fact that people are started to think about the consumption of it, and to cut back, to find ways to not guzzle it. It's changing and there is no denying it.

Spornitz said...

Get a different car and start fixing this one yourself. Just start taking it apart and bang on some shit, put it back together. Take pictures of how it looks every time you take another part off. Buy a Volvo 240 and just drive it no matter what is wrong with it. Never fix anything unless it can't propell itself forward. You can find them in Boulder for like $500. Easy to fix, parts cheap and plentiful. Keep the Dodge too, it's just not right if you don't drive some POS Chrysler product. Remember the Volarie? That thing was just scary.

locomocos said...

What? This is coming from the guy who owned a Granada?

haha!

locomocos said...

speaking of the Volare.....