Friday, September 29, 2006

News For the Weekend - Because I'm Lazy

History Of Rock Written By The Losers
September 17, 2003
Issue 39•36
BOSTON—Fifty years after its inception, rock 'n' roll music remains popular due to the ardor of its fans and the hard work of musicians, producers, and concert promoters. But in the vast universe of popular music, there exists an oft-overlooked group of dedicated individuals who devote their ample free time to collecting, debating, and publishing the minutiae of the rock genre. They are the losers who write rock's rich and storied history.


Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
Sorry about that, Amber! That just proves how lazy i am!

I Must Take Issue With The Wikipedia Entry For 'Weird Al' Yankovic
Larry Groznic
November 10, 2004
Issue 40•45

To whomever or whatever is currently in charge of the free encyclopedia and online community portal at, I demand that you remove the mask of anonymity and account for the gross oversights to be found on your site. I must take issue with your entry for "Weird Al" Yankovic—for in allowing it to remain active, you are perpetrating a great injustice.


Crack Dealer Only Tenant Landlord Can Depend On For Rent
September 22, 2006
Issue 42•39
CULVER CITY, CA—Despite owning 15 units in the central Los Angeles area, landlord Marceline Brown can only count on receiving on-time rent payments from one of her tenants: full-time crack dealer Nathan "Buck" Cruz, 24.
According to Brown, Cruz has never missed a rent deadline since moving into 1211 Juniette Street, Apartment 2D in October 2004, despite having no bank account, credit cards, or personal checks.


Amber said...

heeeeyyyy, I posted that one, first
waaay back when.

locomocos said...

Holy Crap! you're right! no wonder i found it so hilarious! okay, i'll find another one...

caffeinator_x said...

That "philosophy class" thing is one of my all time Onion faves... (along w/ "Owls are Assholes")

I've alternately hated and been that guy at different times thoughout my life...

Anonymous said...

` And I thought I was lazy!!

` Well! At least I have been so lazy that I have TONS of pictures I could put up! I've already made up a story about having rugburn-inducing sex with Riff Raff already!
` By the way, I was so lazy I didn't even really read your post yet.
` I will shortly, after I finally get some mint tea after three days and five attempts - IT WILL BE MINE!!! I'm going crazy.

Anonymous said...

` Ahhh. Double-mint tea. Good articles. Cute crack dealer. No, just joking.

2 Dollar Productions said...

I like the diversity here, and let's face it, Weird Al is back in a big way with his new album and was named the person having the Best Week on "Best Week Ever" last night.

Anonymous said...

` Doesn't anyone want to read my Rocky Horror story?
` ...Hey, I just went to see them with the tickets I won from pelvic thrusting skills!

Aaron said...

That 'Wierd Al' thing was funny. I'm sure he's not getting what he deserves.