Alright. I mean Retard.
In all honesty, when I first saw the movie Private Benjamin, I was probably only 8 years old. All I remembered was the boot camp and how they put some blue stuff in the drill sergeant’s shower head. But does anyone remember the last half of the movie? Of course not! Cause it blew goats!
I just saw this movie on WE the other night and thought, "Well, I'll watch it cause I don't quite remember it, and I love Goldie Hawn!"
How dumb was that thought?
The entire basis of humor about some debutant being in the army was how she signed up for 3 years, and couldn’t get out!
So what happens? Not even a year after the best part of the movie (boot camp) she decides to ‘quit’ the army to get married to some loser French guy! Helloooo?
Now, I’m not going to LIST the reasons why this movie could never take place (nail polish, wavy perms, and red underwear - sound like the army?) but what just happened to the plot?! Did I miss something? Who were the writers for this? Because AGAIN, I believe I need to switch careers and become a screenwriter. I mean really, if it’s THAT easy!
I know this movie was no award winner, but why is it still being shown in syndicate? It’s ridiculous! The end of the movie, while you’re waiting for Goldie Hawn to somehow get back INTO the army, she ends up wandering off in a wedding dress down the French countryside!
Private Benjamin has just entered my list of stinkers. Granted, I’m sure no one is surprised.
That and I just heard the dumbest movie quote evar.
I was watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral (cause it was on right before Private Benjamin) and right after Andy McDowell comments on how soaking wet she is from standing in the rain, she says, “Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed.”
WHAT?????? What just happened 2 lines before THAT??? Was I the only person who caught that?
Gawd. I need some Academy Award winners/nominees, and FAST. And NO Jerry McGuire!