Thursday, June 22, 2006

Seinfeldian Episode 2

I've made a small story out of this POST

Scene 1: Home
Casey hangs up the phone with a nervous sigh of relief.
“What’s up?” Jeff asks from the couch, watching TV.

“I just made a new hair appointment with Angie. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.” She said.

“What do you mean?” he asked, while peeling a banana – yet eyes glued to the set.

“Well, you know my current stylist, Monica, is the girlfriend of my co-worker, Candice, right? Well, for the past 2 years I’ve been going to her to help her support her new business. But the thing is, she never gives me the cut and color I want,” said Casey, crossing the room to sit down next to Jeff, but not watching the TV. This prompts Jeff to acknowledge Casey wants to talk. He still does not give her his undivided attention, and while talking to the TV he asks, “Well? Why do you go to her then? Why did you go to her for 2 years even though you weren’t happy?”

“At first, it was because I had no regular stylist. Then it was because she’s give me free stuff and free hair cuts. Now I have to pay her regular price and NO free stuff. And if I’m paying regular price, which is about $100 plus shampoo – I might as well go to someone who does my hair how I like it. Plus my last appointment got pushed for 2 HOURS after I got there because another client had been late. I spent 2 HOURS sitting in the salon waiting on my own appointment! That’s CRAP!” Casey animatedly said. She was clearly frustrated.

Jeff finally turns to her, “So WHY are you still going to her?”

“Well, I work with her partner, Candice. I can’t just stop going to her without any explanation! I don’t want to TELL her that I think Monica my stylist, her partner, is CRAP! She’ll flip out! I have to continue to WORK with this woman! Plus I’ve developed a friendship with them, which makes me incapable of hurting their feelings, or pride! Monica is bubbly and fun and we’ve even gone out for drinks together” exclaimed Casey, as she slumped into the couch. “But on the other hand, I have another friend, Angie, who is struggling with HER hair salon who needs help, too. AND she’s actually REALLY good! I just made an appointment with her, but don’t know how to break it to Monica or Candice. I’ve told them about Angie in an offhand way, but I don’t think they think I would actually ever GO to her, or as Monica puts it, ‘Cheats on her’. Why is having a hair stylists so complicated!! UGH!!!” Casey threw her once animated arms up in the air as a sign of defeat.

“I think you should tell Monica or Candice that you are going to spread the wealth a little and go to your friend,” Said Jeff, returning to the TV. “I mean, isn’t her shop 30 minutes away, while Angie’s shop is 5 minutes from us? Gee. Tough decision,” he said sarcastically.

“You’re right. I should just bite the bullet and say something before my Saturday appointment,” relented Casey. And she sat back to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Scene 2: Work

Casey approached Candice in her cubicle. It is the end of the day and she needs to leave early. This is the perfect opportunity to tell Candice that she made an appointment with Angie, and to have her tell Monica not to freak out about it.

As Casey packs up her things, Candice calls her to her cubicle.

“What is this that you gave me? I can’t do anything with this!” screamed Candice at Casey. She threw a paper on her desk as if to disregard the paper and Casey.

“That’s the report I told you I was typing up. I told you what I was going to include. What’s the problem?” Casey asked, annoyed at Candice’s actions.

“Well, I thought you were going to write out a full report on this client. What am I supposed to do with the bare minimums?” Candice quickly retorted.

“We discussed exactly what was necessary in my report over a week ago. I told you I’d give it to you by today. I did exactly what we agreed upon,” said Casey calmly. “If you need more info, just tell me exactly what you need….”

But before Casey could finish, Candice blew up and shouted, “Forget it. I’ll just do the whole report over again. I’m really frustrated cause this is NOT what I thought you were giving me.”

“Well apparently we had some miscommunication, because that’s exactly what I agreed to. But if you want to do it over, fine. I’m leaving,” and Casey grabbed her purse and left her office, furious. She leaves the office, calls her boss on his cell and leaves a message urging him to call her.

One Month Later:

Casey (with a different hair style) is typing in her office and Candice strolls by.

“We have that meeting at 2pm, right?” asks Candice, pleasantly and professionally.

Thankful that a month has passed, Casey acknowledges that Candice has let the incident with the report slide, and they are on a friendly level again. Although the friendship she once shared with her co-worker for 3 years seemed to be non existent, she was content in knowing the actions of the past incident had been chastised by her boss, and a level of professionalism was now in its place.

“Yep. 2pm,” replied Casey.

“Good. Because Monica is bringing me some lunch,” said Candice on her way back to her desk, which was only 5 feet away.

Casey continues to type as Monica strolls into the office with some bags. As Casey gets up to get an item, she smiles and says hello to Monica. Monica obviously forces a smile back and turns to Candice. They begin talking and eating their lunch.

Casey sits back at her desk and after a while, gets up for something else which puts her in the way of Monica. Candice was taking a phone call and Monica was just staring into space.

“Hey Monica, how’s it going?” asked Casey, pleasantly, as she paused by Candice’s desk.

“Good,” replied Monica scowling and in a tone of voice that said, ‘I’m not saying another word to you, you bitch!’

Casey went back to her desk mouths the word, ‘WOW’.

Monica and Candice finally finish their lunch and as Monica leaves, she blatantly says goodbye to everyone in the office except Casey.

Turning from her desk and waving, Casey yells after her, “Goodbye Monica!”

“Goosheye….bishasbueshlshh” mumbles Monica, already as far and fast away as she can get.

Casey turns back to her desk. “Don’t mess with a bully or you’ll get the horns,” she mumbles, as she takes a deep breath. She then stopped and stared at her computer, deep in thought. She stands up a little and looks outside her window to see if Monica was getting into her car and leaving. As she makes sure Monica is nowhere near her car with a sharp object – she shakes her head. “I wonder if there’s a saying for lesbians referring to messing with one equals messing with ALL of them….” She pondered. The only thing she came up with was, “Don’t Shit Where You Eat”.

She glanced over her shoulders a couple times, to make sure there was no one behind her.


This and That said...

well I don'think you have to worry about going to her for a haircut again. What a bitch. Glad you found another stylist before she did any major hair damage. Candice needs some serious hair pie damage control!

Amber said...

ha, no dear "bitch" letter needed I guess. It's funny how long we'll hold onto a certain thing, or habit, out of what we feel is decorum just for it to be thrown away by the other party. I hope I get to see your hair someday....

caffeinator_x said...

See, that's why I'm bald.

I like these dramatic recreation posts. In fact, you've inspired me... I think I'm going to do a 3rd person entry.

Oh, who am I kidding... the Mrs'll never go for it!



(whew)I crack me up.

Josh said...

You mess with one bian, you mess with the whole burrito?

Denny said...

i really actually saw that one coming from the letter post.