Unfortunately, my ‘Happy Friday’ has plummeted into ‘I Should’ve Stayed In Bed-day’. And you, dear friends, are going to hear about it. It started out as any other Friday; hung over, not willing to move, and waking up too late to take a shower. But then something happened to make this Friday suck azz..
I don’t know what the catalyst was – but it could’ve possibly been the booze I imbibed last night while watching The Poseidon Adventure.
So this morning I wake up – I don’t want to go to work (like every day, but worst on Friday) and I end up snoozing in bed way too long.
So I end up running around trying to smell which clothes don’t smell AS bad to wear them to work, and end up leaving my house 20 minutes late.
This is actually not so bad.
The bad part is that people were driving like assholes this morning!! Do I need to prove it?
I witnessed a car accident on the way to ye ole office which was pretty bad. Some guy in an 90s Mustang was bobbing and weaving through traffic. He ended up hitting a car stopped in the left lane trying to turn – at 40 + MPH. It was CRAZY. The poor guy stumbles out of his car, which luckily didn’t hit any on coming traffic. His car was toast, and the other guy in the mustang hadn’t even flinched as he crashed into this poor fellow – but was sitting in his car – probably knocked out cold.
What gets me is that this had all gone on mere blocks away from the same school zone in which I had gotten a speeding ticket in December for going 30 MPH (which is the speed limit outside the zone) and where was the cop? There’s some saying about when the cat’s away the mice will party or something like that – which is apparently what this asshole in the Mustang thought.
So as I carefully averted the accident, I was driving away thinking how lucky I was and how people don’t pay attention (like cops) when some crazy hobo on a bike veered out into traffic almost riding right into me. I slammed on my brakes (which luck again would have everyone surrounding me driving at the same speed and not riding my ass due to the afore mentioned accident) and tapped my horn at this guy. I thought he didn’t see me, but apparently he did, cause he flipped me off. After which, I proceeded to run him over.
No, just kidding. But I sure wanted to. I drive by the ‘Jesus Saves’ shelter every day on my way to work, so you would think I’d be used to crazies walking into oncoming 5 lane traffic, but what can I say? I don’t want The Dart to get dented!
As if to put the cherry on top of my sundae, one of my work colleagues was teasing me in front of everyone and jokingly mentioned i should go upstairs ‘to color’ apparently meaning my landscape designs were worthless. So I told him I’d color his ass, but I would run out of markers. There were mixed reviews of this zinger – as I possibly showed a little more vehemence than I should have.
I sit here watching the clock waiting for my boss to leave so I can go home early.
I should’ve stayed in bed.