Well, after my breif brush with the blues, I'm back into a sustainable development mode, and have barred down, buckled up, and gotten back in the saddle. I'm working with a new women's commite which will hopefully refresh my once stale feelings of motivation.
Every volunteer goes through a tough spell, whether it's at the beginning of service when you're developing relationships, through the middle, when communities no longer think you're a lovable cartoon character, or at the end when all you can see is the light in the tunnel, and have champagne wishes and tilamook cheddar dreams. My September is booked solid with meetings, projects, and new planting times. The month is almost half over, my pocket book is empty and my mom just sent me 6 boxes of Kraft Maccaroni and Cheese. I only have good things to look forward to! My parents are also trying to negotiate buying me a plane ticket to come home for Christmas. If all these things are happening at the speed of ludicrous, then why do I get so down? Not for lack of love for Paraguay.
I'm actually very happy, but sometimes get really frustrated. I mean, why won't Ña Fulana change the way she has been killing pigs for the last 30 year after I've shown her in my limited, childlike Guarani that the CORRECT way is more sanitary for her dirt floor, wooden plank kitchen?
Well, if you put it that way, I guess if you're gonna get frustrated, do so, and move on. So I've taken a hold of my own destiny, AGAIN, and decided to chill out, do what I can while I'm here, and learn some much needed Spanish. Guarani is great and all my community speaks it. If you speak only a FEW WORDS in areas outside of your site, people LOVE it, and love you. They think it's WONDERFUL you are learning their indiginous language. They give you discounts on otherwise "foreigner" prices, and heck, throw in a free empeñada or two! But lo, the most important aspect of the Lilu Blues is that I can't express myself. I need a better grasp of language to do this, and for some reason, spanish just makes sense to me. I'm not giving up my Guarani, or my other language, Pantomime, but I've decided to get a tutor and study study study. Hopefully after another year, I'll be able to tell the joke about the Rabbi, the Priest, and the Minister.
I think it will go over pretty well by the time I'm ready to make like a tree, and get outta here.