He Sees you When....

Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!

"And it wasn't just once either, my wee friend! Oh, what a naughty, prolific rascal you've been! Ho, ho, ho!"

Post Birthday Post

Thank you all for your happy birthday wishes!
Besides playing around with my camera phone on my b-day, I got:

1. Beerfest from Kurt
2. Slippers, Magnum and A CAR from Josh
3. Dishes from Mom
4. Moolah from Dad
5. Ice Luge from Ed and Paul
6. Free drinks from Gabors
7. Birthday texts from Denny, Leslie, and Sherri
8. Ecards from Amber and Cody
9. Cards from my Aunt Rita, Kaila, Josh and Leslie
10. Birthday kudos from MANY people as seen on myspace and my last post!
11. Measuring cups from Josh's mom
12. Scarf from Euna
13. Ode From Amber
14. Hangover from Kurt, Ed, Paul, Euna and Stacey!

Thank you everyone who made me feel so loved!

December 7, 2006

Today is my birthday -
And what did I get?

An Art Card from Amber -
and some money to bet.

Today is my birthday -
So what was received?

Slippers so pink -
They're hard to perceive!

Today is my birthday -
What was to be had?

Season 2 of Magnum PI -
To enjoy with my dad!

Today is my birthday -
And I shall go to the bar...

But don't worry I won't drive
My last gift was a car!

Flatulence forces plane to land

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.


The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Thanks for the article, Ed. Are you trying to tell me something?
Read Article Here

29 doth Approacheth...

Oh gawd. Just shoot me.

I'm feeling so haggard.

Let's take a look at what the past birthdays have brought me - shall we?

December 7 - The Day of Tears:

2002 - Age 25 - I got laid off from my first job after college
2003 - Age 26 - My first gray hairs started appearing on top of my head
2004 - Age 27 - My Samurai boyfriend forgot my birthday
2005 - Age 28 - My eyes went and got old and I needed glasses
2006 - Age 29 - I am burnt out at work and need a career change

Well - this Day of Tears has another knotch to add on the bedpost. Next year I will be 30.
30, People. What the heck am I going to do? I haven't even been to Vegas yet! Oh wait, yes I have.
I haven't even been to New Orleans yet!
Guess I know what my goal is for next year.
Heavy sigh.

Seriously. I want this.

$24.99 - Can you beat this price?
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=25303&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=336&iSubCat=562&iProductID=25303
Why didn't they have this for my Halloween Party!!!

GEEZ!!!!

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
SOMEONE BUY THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

FSM Anyone?

Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

TOPEKA, KS—In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

"From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God's intended design," said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. "This is about protecting the integrity of all creation."
The sweeping new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from being born with random genetic mutations that could make them better suited to evade predators, secure a mate, or, adapt to a changing environment. In addition, it bars any sexual reproduction, battles for survival, or instances of pure happenstance that might lead, after several generations, to a more well-adapted species or subspecies

READ MORE HERE

Anniversary? Whoops!!!

I'm such a bad blogger! I completely forgot my 2 year anniversary!!!
Can you ever forgive me - O Blog Of Mine?
October has come and gone! And November is passing as of tomorrow! where would I be without my beautiful blog to keep me from exploading at work?
O Loco Mocos! or is it Locomocos?
I can't figure out what to call you! 1 name, or 2?
Well, for your belated birthday, I have chosen to purchase a domain name.
Here it is:

http://www.locomocos.net/

I will be working on you diligently - to make you everything you can be!
And just for old times sake - let us review your first month in blogging!

http://locomocos.blogspot.com/2004_10_01_locomocos_archive.html

Don't be afraid! there's not that much there - some of my more cherished stories about the Roller Derby!
And the links work, too!
Bon Anniversaire, Mon Amour, Loco Mocos! (locomocos!)

Don't Forget to Hang Up Yr Sock!

Here it is! what you've all been waiting for!

Click here to view my gift list on WhatToGive.com


I know my name is on all your lists for presents this year! Especially with such a hard birthday coming up next week! Boo!!!

So if you're feeling particularly sorry for me, you can feel free to look at my wish list and purchase something for me!



Or one of the items on the attached picture list would be fine as well.......

Cult of Personality

Cassie Doolittle? That's a common enough name - right?

HowManyOfMe.com

There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Thanks for the link, Laura!!!

Wrathful and Gloomy? Whatev....

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

And So It Begins....

Happy Holidays....

SHOE QUIZ!!!

So I was buzzing around Mental Floss, and found this interesting quiz!

See if you can pick the shoes that go with the wearer!

Here is your list of choices:

1. Elton John

2. Bettie Page

3. Mikhail Baryshnikov

4. Heaven’s Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite

5. Michael Jordan

6. Louis XIV of France

7. Gregory Hines

8. Jesus Christ

9. Eddie Vedder

10. Adolf Hitler

11. Marie Antoinette

12. Jam Master Jay

13. Gene Simmons

14. Captain Ahab

Pretty easy, but pretty funny!

And for honorable mention of good posts, read THIS ONE for a good laugh!

Yes, Yes, and …. Gasp…. YES!!!

Are you experiencing job burnout?
• Do work activities you once found enjoyable now feel like drudgery?
• Have you become more cynical or bitter about your job, your boss or the company?
• Are non-work relationships (marital, family, friendships) affected by your feelings about work?
Do you find yourself:
• dreading going to work in the morning?
• easily annoyed or irritated by your co-workers?
• envious of individuals who are happy in their work?
• caring less now than you used to about doing a "good job" at work?
Are you:
• regularly experiencing fatigue and low energy levels at your job?
• easily bored with your job?
• depressed on Sunday afternoons thinking about Monday and the coming week?
If you answered yes to five or more of the above, you may be suffering from
job burnout.

Holy Crap. Did anyone ever think they would actually get burned out after only 5 years out of college?

Well friends – after taking this quiz and speaking to my personal psychiatrist (my mom) I have deducted that I AM burned out.

I then asked myself – if I could have any job in the whole world, what would it be?
I’ve thought LONG and HARD on this one. And I have come the conclusion of 2 jobs:

1. Taster at Dreyers
2. Fluffer

Any suggestions for my current state of mind? Short term solutions for my sanity? ANYTHING!!!!!

Tofurkey Anyone?

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Lettuce Wraps: Are they Dangerous?

I have been recently addicted to lettuce wraps. Not because they’re really healthy or anything, but I love the yummy dishes created to put into the crisp, cool lettuce. Mostly it’s a meat dish, but there are recipes out there containing veggies only, or tofu. The key is that whatever you put into the lettuce wrap, it needs to be small and spoonable. The smaller, the easier to fill, and easier to wrap with lettuce.

So last night I was too tired to cook, for reasons evident on my picture blog. We decided to order Chinese food. Since we ALWAYS order regular Chinese food, I decided to order from Spicy Basil, which is more of a Thai restaurant. I had such a hard time deciding what I wanted, but I finally narrowed it down to a chicken and veggie lettuce wrap dish.

I was so excited (as per above) to taste the hot meat dish in the cool lettuce wrap. The menu had said, ‘Must Use Hands to Eat this Dish’ – which made me even more giddy. I couldn’t wait! If these wraps were good, that meant I had a new delivery place I could order from on a regular basis! The prices were cheap, selection good, service wonderful; now all that was left was the actual taste test.

As I unpacked my dinner – I noticed it looked a little odd. It looked more like ground turkey than actual chicken. I was skeptical. But that was all blown away as I unwrapped the lettuce, and put a spoonful of delight into it and bit in! It was wonderful! I couldn’t believe how awesome it was! I couldn’t get enough – fast enough!



The only problem – it indeed required hands. And a plate, and roll of paper towels. It was messy! Probably the messiest lettuce wrap in the world! And what did I do? I dripped stuff all over my favorite jeans! D’OH!!!!

As the juice dripped off my fingers and face, I felt like I was in a Carl’s Jr. commercial (Hardee’s for those out east). They had a string of commercials with a sexy girls eating the messiest burger alive – but Hemingway – this was the same thing, but I was eating a lettuce wrap. The only thing, was that in the commercial for Carl’s Jr., the sexy model who wouldn’t normally EAT a ginormous burger like that – didn’t get ANY condiments on HER jeans – or her shirt for the love of Pete! It just got all over the floor! My lettuce wrap got all over BOTH and this morning, I had to put Spray and Wash on my precious jeans, hoping that they won’t be permanently stained.

Cause that would just suck. I hate it when one of your favorite articles of clothing gets ruined. Especially jeans, since I have such a hard time finding a good pair! Even though they only cost $20 – I still think they’re worth more that 1 night of bliss with a lettuce wrap.
I’ll keep you updated after I do laundry tonight. I’m sure everyone’s sitting on the edge of their seats!

The Picard Song (Star Trek Meets The Sims 2)

I just like the song - I could do without the Sims part. Plus I'm feeling really lazy today. I feel like my will has been zapped by the aliens of Talos IV.

Wednesday Morning Funny

I believe this is me.....
I ate ALL of the pie Kurt made for the Halloween party.....

Report: Sci-Fi Fantasy Movie seen as kid did not withstand the test of time.

This is not a new report. In fact, many of you have expressed the same sentiments regarding TV shows, cartoons, and old board games. This report is to reiterate the general consensus that you should never re-visit old movies, shows, etc you thought were really cool when you were 8 and try to watch them 20 years later.

Although I knew this from the Knight Rider viewing on USA in 1999, I was flipping through the channels at 2:30 am while drinking some 90 Shilling and Krull came on. I have recently deducted that is was the 90 Shilling that made me think, “Cool! Krull! Ooo! I can’t wait to watch this again! I haven’t seen it in years and it was AWESOME!”

Well friends, as most of you who have seen Krull – you would think the 90 Shilling might actually IMPROVE the movie if you aren’t 8 years old – but on second thought – even if you were 8 years old now – you’d probably think it was a stupid movie.

The tagline of Krull:
From the sky will come the Black Fortress. From the Fortress will come the Slayers to devour the planet of Krull. Then shall a girl of ancient name become queen...she shall choose a king...and together they shall rule the planet. And their son shall rule the galaxy.

Sounds pretty good so far? Just wait…

The synopsis of Krull:
A princess gets kidnapped by some weird alien things who’s leader wants to marry her. Her fiancé finds the ultimate weapon – a crazy medieval ninja star – and together with a Cyclops, a guy that turns into a duck, and Liam Neeson, he goes to rescue the princess and save the planet of Krull.

They lycra is flying in this 1983 epic journey of a Prince, his buddies, and some hot chick running away from laser beams! It really makes me want to re-evaluate (NOT re-watch) Dragonslayer, Beastmaster, and Red Sonja.

But alas – I will stick to my guns and fondly remember them from 1985 as being some of the best adventure movies ever created!!!! And PLEASE – never stop on TBS, USA or WGN at 2:30 in the morning while drinking. You WILL regret it!

well
- i'm trying to upload some more hilarious pictures, but they'll have to wait until blogger can get it's shit together....i'll put them up later....

Kirstie is Cuttin' some Mustard

So Kirstie Alley sure is shedding some pounds on Jenny Craig!
Good for her!
Going from this:

To this:

Is pretty good! She's lost 75 lbs so far!

I still don't know if I'd wear a bikini on Oprah - but if I was going to do it on any show - it would be that one!

I do think it's amazing that she looked great and continued to work even though she gained tons of weight. They gave her so much shit - AND Janet Jackson - about gaining weight. My first instinct is to say, "Srew You Society!" but hey - it wasn't like they only gained 15 lbs and the media was screaming - they were seriously overweight (well, to be honest, I don't know how much Janet weighed, they just gave her a lot of crap)!

SO: Good for you, Kristie! You look fabulous! Keep it up!

It's so crappy that society dictates what women 'should' look like. Did you know that the media thought Kate Winslet was heavy in Titanic? She was a size 6!

And right around the same time - people said Drew Barrymore was keeping on some baby fat with her new string of movies in 1998 at a size 8!

For us women, we know that's crazy. But for you guys, the average size in Hollywood at that time was a size 2. The average size in Hollywood now? Size 0. What kind of guy likes women who are the size of small pubescent young boys? Apparently TONS.
So - before you start telling me that Kiera Knightly has the most perfect body (for an 11 year old boy with big lips) you can suck my big white buttocks. The average size for an American woman now is size 10-12 and a height of 5'4. I'm not saying this is where women SHOULD be - but it's where they ARE.

Now, the last thing I would want to do is fantacize about a skeleton in a bag. But hey - That's just me.
I will end this rant with another kudos to all those 'healthy' actresses out there. Thanks for showing the rest of us ladies that it IS okay to be comfortable weighing that ginormous amount of 120lbs - as opposed to 85!

End Rant. Go back to your activities.

Peace Corps 101

So I’ve decided to keep a record of all my dealings with The Peace Corps.
Yesterday I had a meeting at the Denver regional office with Clara. Clara was really helpful in describing the application process and give me a heads up on what to expect during this time.
I’m hoping to get my completed application out by this week. I still need to fill in some big hairy details, like financial obligations, motivation essays, etc. I’m currently looking for some good applicants for references. The fun thing about citing references for The Peace Corps – is they will actually call you, and ask questions about me. So I am hesitant to put down say someone I partied with last week – as they MIGHT divulge some information not too palatable to the recruiter! Hahaha!

The process looks like this:
Step 1: Online application
Wait around 1 week after submittal
Step 2: PC office will send me an additional Background Check packet
This will include getting a police report, finger printing and any other governmental reports about me. I can’t wait to see what they got! CAUSE THEY GOT NUTHIN’ MAN!!!!
Wait around 1 week after submittal
Step 3: PC office will send me an additional Medical History packet
I will need to get a physical, eye exam, dental exam, etc so they know if I need a root canal vs. knocking out one of my teeth with an ice skate! Yikes!!!
Wait about 1 week after submittal
Step 4: PC office will send out a Financial Responsibility packet
This is to make sure that I’ve filled out all forms and taken care of any debt I owe during my 2 years of service – i.e. defer my student loans, take care of all credit debtors, or sign over any mortgages I have (which luckily, I don’t)
Wait 1 week after submittal
Step 5: Waiting
At this point, the PC office will send in a request for placement to Washington. All my info will then sent and reviewed by the head honchos at the Washington DC Peace Corps office.
This will take anywhere from 2-5 months
Step 6: I will receive an ‘invitation’ to accept an assignment at a certain date (say I receive an invitation in May for a program that starts in August). If I accept the assignment, I will then be ready to go ASAP!!!

Then it’s off to training for 3 months, and then afterwards, I begin the 24 month service in my chosen country!
Hooray!

Sound good?
Well – looks like first thing is first. I had better get my application is so I can start this year long process!

p.s. I've been trying to post pics - but once again, my network admin lady is messing with the computers! blech!!!!

Rock the What?

I voted last night. It took 2.5 hours in line. I woke up this morning, and half the shit I voted for (or against) didn't pass. Voting blows. The last time I voted, Bush was re-elected and Colorado became a non-smoking state. This round Colorado has banned gay marriage, and rejected gay benefits.

Well, at least I can legally enjoy this joint I've just rolled. Whew. I was really stressing THAT one......

Dreams

Kurt just sent me an email saying that his boss told him he would 'get the gold star' for the day for diffusing some situation at work (he is a TSA airport screener). But where is this star? Did his boss ever follow through with this boast?
Is there a pay raise involved? No?
Well, in honor of Kurt 'Taking Control of the Situation' and 'Not Narcing out his Teammates' at work, I have created this award for him. Good Job, Kurt! I am proud of you! Especially since we are destined to go into a hollywood partnership soon!

Why do you ask?
Well -
I had a Dream!
What kind of dream? Well, a couple nights ago, I dreamt about Kurt. And what a profitable dream it was. More like premonition, really.
My dream broke down like this:
I paid Kurt in beer to finish an assignment for me. I had to write a 31 page short story for school, and I didn't want to do it - so I paid Kurt to do it! So what happens? The story is a hit and people want to publish it, and they want to interview me (the author) on TV and stuff! So it turned into this weird Cyrano De Bergerac thing....
The story was an adventure swashbuckling story - like Treasure Island.
And then since 'I' was famous for the book - Kurt then used my new status of fame to introduce a new perfume he had created called Jennifer An Ass-ton - for 'bigger' girls. It was a hit, too. We were rolling in the dough. Kurt as the ideas man, me as the public figure/sales person. You know, like Madonna and her songwriter.
I think this dream was not so much as a dream, but a look into the future. A premonition.

People - this has everything to do with that fortune cookie I found in 1994!!!
Soon you will get the recognition you deserve!
It's about fucking time!
Soon - I will be on a gravy train with biscut wheels!
JUST YOU WAIT!

oh yeah - Kurt too.....

Wookin' Po Nub...

Oh Paul.

Where ever do you get such funny emails!

Hello my Cool and Clever Congregation of Calamity,

It seems that our church leaders just can't keep their hand out of the cookie and amphetamine jars these days. Evangelical leader Reverend Ted Haggard of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs and president of the National Association of Evangelicals, has been caught paying for gay sex and buying drugs.

What a scandal! Nobody should ever have to PAY for sex. That's why I've set up "Nuclia Waste's Evangelical FREE Dating Service."

A website is worth a thousand words. So click on over to my new website and sign up today!

http://www.nucliawaste.com/freedatingservice.html

Hey Ladies! Get Your Vote On!

Hello All!
Thank you, Paul, for sending me this website!

http://www.thewhitehouseproject.org/
I'm in love with it, now!
If any of you know of any other ladies, gentlemen, and transgendered folk, feel free to pass this site along!

Heck Yesss!

Heck Yesss!
Originally uploaded by locomocos.

Alright Ghosties!
Time to take a look at my Spooktacular Halloween Gallery on Flickr!

Enjoy and feel free to make comments!

I have tons more, but alas, I can only upload so many on my FREE Flickr account each month! Boo!

Please Standby....

I am currently trying to upload photos from Vegas and my Spooktacular Soiree.
Please check back currently, as I am having technical difficulties.

Thank You.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

"Alright you freshman bitches! You had better come to Cassie's party, or you will have to ride the Carousel!"

Happy Halloween Partying this weekend!!!!

Friday Math Problem

PLUS



EQUAL

Locomocos Quiz Time 2!

Well friends, I am currently trying to come up with a good quiz format I can post here on my blog. So far - and audio quizzes have been easiest, and the most fun. I'm trying to come up with an interactive (i.e. multiple choice, matching, fill in the blank) format that you can do and find out the answers immediately - but until that time - I've created another audio quiz from some of my favorite movies!

What I would like to see on the answers, are the movies, and possibly the character that said them! But if you just get part 1 of the 2 part question, I'll give you partial points!
haha!
Good Luck!!!

1. Quote 1
"Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?"
"What has that got to do with anything?"
"Back off man, I'm a scientist"

2. Quote 2
"I got news for you pal...you ain't leading but two things right now...jack and shit...and jack left town."

3. Quote 3
"Just stay out of my way or you'll pay, listen to what I say."
"How about I just go eat some hay. I could make things out of clay, and lay by the bay, I just may. What d'ya say?"

4. Quote 4
"I love you Sorsha?! I don't love her, she kicked me in the face. I hate her.....don't I?"

5. Quote 5
"Beautiful naked big titted women don't just fall outa the sky you know"

6. Quote 6
"Has anybody got a dime..? I don't got anything. Somebody's got to go back and get a shitload of dimes."

7. Quote 7
"Be careful man! There's a beverage here!"

8. Quote 8
"fuck you , fuck you ,fuck you ,you are cool ,fuck you, i am out!"

9. Quote 9
"Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb."

10. Quote 10
"Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eye! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

Food Scrooge? Bah Latte!

I am addicted to Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
I believe they are the best invention since sliced bread.

Why is it that they only bring pumpkin spice around once a year? I mean, it’s not like they use REAL pumpkins or anything. It’s just a powder!!!


So let me axe you coffee aficionados out there, HOW do you make a good pumpkin spice latte? Say I want to enjoy pumpkin spice all year round, as opposed to ONCE a year, like the Gestapo’s at Starbucks and assorted 7-11 would like to dictate! How would I go about it?

I mean, I’m sure there’s some powder SOMEWHERE, but it ALSO comes out only once a year!


And if pumpkin is actually canned, then why can’t people eat pumpkin pie all year round? Pumpkin pie, bread, soup, casserole – all of it! I guarantee people who make these wonderful fall treats are not buying up fresh pumpkins as ingredients!

So my question is this:
Why seasonal flavors, when they are darn good ALL YEAR ROUND?

Something to look forward to?
Baloney.
I look forward to it every time I put it in my MOUTH!

So here are some items I believe should be offered ALL YEAR:
Eggnog
Gingerbread
Lemon Meringues
Candy cane cookies – really ALL holiday cookies
Pumpkin ANYTHING
Cranberry Sauce
Spiral Hams (people should make more of these)
Kielbasa
Giant Chocolate Bunnies
Green Bean Casserole

I know some of these CAN be offered all year, but why are they only made for holidays? Why can’t we have chocolate bunnies whenever we want?

These few items I look forward to all year could certainly give way to other indulgences, if I only had them more than once a year! What about holiday hummus? Nobody gets excited about that, cause you can just pick some up a the grocery store! But holiday baba ganoush? YOU BET! Anyone can try new food items and have tons of room in their tummies, if only Aunt Barbara would market her damn Candy Cane cookies!

Genus Species: Liptonious Ambiguous

Recently, I wrote Lipton Teas an email about one of their products. It was well constructed, friendly, and downright complimentary.

Dear Lipton-
I most recently had your Lipton Diet Green Tea with Citrus for lunch the other day, and found it delightful.
The crisp, cool taste, with just a hint of sweet citrus took my breath away!
As I was enjoying my Lipton Diet Green Tea with Citrus, I was reading the ingredients, and to my dismay, found that there was aspartame in it!
Recently I have discovered the harmful effects of aspartame, and have quit drinking most carbonated beverages. I hate to think that I can no longer enjoy your wonderful Lipton Diet Green Tea with Citrus!
So - my question is: Is there a way to enjoy the wonderfully refreshing taste of Lipton Diet Green Tea with Citrus without aspartame?
Is there a way to recreate this taste with your 100% natural tea bags and citrus slices? And if so - why do you need to add the aspartame if this is possible?
Thank you for your time -
Cassie D********


The response, which was more than just boring -

Hi Cassie,

Thanks for writing!

Many factors are considered during development of each product includetaste, texture, nutritional value, ability to retain flavor and quality,as well as consumer convenience in usage and preparation.

Unilever uses only those ingredients needed to provide desired flavor,appearance, consistency and nutritional value to its food products, andthen to maintain those qualities during storage and use.

In order to produce good-tasting foods, Unilever also makes use of latest research to select ingredients that provide desired qualities.

Our research staff continues to review existing products and develop newones. This ongoing program provides Unilever consumers with products ofonly highest quality and value. We will certainly report comments to Research and Marketing staffs.Thanks for your interest in our products!

Your friends at Lipton

khw

First off, I had to look up what the heck Unilever even was! Second, they don't even recognize the issue with aspartame - like they don't want to touch it. And when I asked for other options such as using THEIR tea bags with citrus slices in it - they didn't even answer! Sounds like a form letter to me. And THAT means I will have to get a little more personal next time I write a letter to some big company.
I think khw should blow it out her azz......or at least her bosses'. Too bad she is probably 18 and working in a small cubicle with flickering overhead fluorescent lighting and all they have is dial-up. It's just like Joe Vs. The Volcano ALL over again!!!

Stupid Lipton....

I look like Ah-Nold!

Happy Friday!

For more pictures by Camille Rose Garcia, visit my picture blog!

New Art Wing VS. Old Lucas Concept

So, As many of you who live in Denver may know, this weekend is the grand opening of the new wing at the Denver Art Museum. I have never been to the art museum, and although I am dating a painter, this seems to bother me less and less each day, as I think about more important things, such as if they will ever find the cure to MS and whether Clark Kent and Lana Lang will ever get together during high school....

But what propels me to discuss the art museums is the upcoming opening this weekend. I really want to go! I was listening to Colorado Matters on Colorado Public Radio and they will be doing interviews with the architecht, Daniel Libeskind. I listened to the director of the art museum today, and found myself trying to look at the building in a different light. I am not convinced about it, but I'm willing to open my mind to 'Art' and try to see it differently.

Differently than what, you ask?
Well my friends, for the last 2 years, I have been under the firm belief that the architect, Daniel Libeskind, is a dutch Star Wars fanatic.
Why?
Looking at the photo of his newest design, do you notice any similarities to any structures in Star Wars? Any at all?
How about MOVING structures?
No?
Well for many moons now, I have compaired the unfinished product to a sandcrawler.
A what? Why? What's the significance? I DON'T KNOW!!!!
But lets examine the evidence, shall we?





Sandcrawlers are huge treaded fortresses used by Jawas as transportation and shelter. The sand-pitted vehicles, many meters in height, are equipped with a magnetic suction tubes for sucking droids and scrap into their cargo chambers.

The new wing on the museum is a huge treated fortress used by puny humans as housing for other precious artifacts into the cargo chambers.

Apart from the technical data - let's take a look at asthetics. Do you see anything to connect the two ideas? George Lucas wanted an old mining transport used to infer that Jawas were scavengers and traders which were housed inside, impermiable to Tuscan Raiders.
Daniel Libeskind was looking for something as phenominal as the opera house in Sydney, Austrailia - to infer an identity for Denver, which will withsand the test of timelessness in architecture.

Let's ask the readers?
Do you agree?
Will this sandcrawler-esque art wing hold up over a period of say, 30 years, as opposed to the sandcrawler, which is timeless?
Only TIME will tell.
But until then, I will hold my judgment a few weeks longer, before I decide. But what I do know, is that with all the scrambling of the city officals to actually FIND Denver's identity and give it a voice, I think they need a lot more than a couple of bad sculptures and fancy new buildings to put it's name back on the map.

As for me, I believe the sandcrawler will only ever be my first love.



It's simplicity reminds me of a time less confusing, and trading a whole helluva lot easier before imperial stormtroopers were around to fuck it all up.

Heavy sigh.......

Holy F*ing Crappola!

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Read it and ENVY, my friends!

Okay....One More and I'll Stop...

Flustered Bush Misses Air Force One Flight
October 3, 2006

"They just lost their best customer," said the president, who added that he would start looking into other carriers.

CAMP SPRINGS, MD—Despite sprinting through the Andrews Air Force Base south terminal, President Bush narrowly missed his Air Force One flight to Boise earlier today after arriving just moments after the plane's doors had closed.
The 12-person crew was not able to accommodate the president due to strict federal guidelines requiring all passengers to arrive at their departure gate 15 minutes prior to takeoff—guidelines flight officials say are especially important considering heightened security around the president. When Bush inquired into the possibility of being placed on standby for Air Force Two, the exasperated commander in chief was informed that the flight was full and Vice President Dick Cheney was unwilling to give up his seat.

READ MORE OF THIS HILARIOUS ARTICLE IF YOU WANT TO LAUGH YOUR AZZ OFF...

Mental Floss - Where Knowlege Junkies Get their Fix

Instead of being lazy and quoting a bunch of Onion articles, I took to posting some Mental Floss!

How to swear like an old prospector
Now that swearing like a pirate has jumped the shark, isn’t it time we exhumed another subgenre of anachronistic curse words? To save us all from another “scurvy dogs” joke — one more and I will walk the bloody plank — I humbly propose replacing all naughty pirate jargon with crusty old-prospector talk, which is just as colorful, if not more expletive-laced. But this time, let’s be smart about it — nerdy, even — and figure out from whence they came before we start throwing them around willy-nilly. To that end, here are my top five old prospector curses, and their respective, only slightly questionable, etymologies:

READ MORE HERE


Completely ridiculous invention for couch potatoes!
The Recline of Western Civilization
Finally, it’s the innovation couch potatoes have been waiting for: Sleeves on a blanket! (Otherwise known as a Slanket.) Whether it’s reaching for the remote, holding a book, or typing on your laptop, the slanket makes sure you can function at optimal lethargy levels while staying all toasty. It’s available here for a cool $55








The only thing that makes more sense than a gun/guitar
That’s right, it’s a cooking range/chair. I don’t know… it actually looks kind of fun from the pics, and the perfect gadget for keeping your seat toasty in the winter. And I’m sure it’d be a big hit in closet-size apartments the world over (fire hazard issues aside). Click here to read more. Link via Popgadget.



I had to do it. I had to Google the Gun/Guitar. I'm glad to see it comes with or without tuners - contingent on personal style of course. I love options.....