Tattoo You?

Interesting article From Mental Floss:

Pens and Needles: History’s Strangest (and most useful?!) Tattoos

If Momma refuses to let you spend your allowance at the tattoo parlor, maybe you should drop some history, and let her know just how “useful” a tattoo can be.

Tattoos as Telegraphs

The Tattoo: secret messages

The Tattooed: slaves

The Reason: It beats paying for postage

According to Greek Historians, back in 312 BC, Greeks used to shave the hair off their slaves, tattoo a message into the back of their heads, and then wait for the locks to grow back. Once the message was all covered in hair, they’d pack the slave off, and send him running.

Tattoos for Mercy

The Tattoo: a crucifixion scene

The Tattooed: troublemakers in the British Navy

The Reason: To get out of being whipped

There’s a reason Eminem and Snoop both suited up for their court appearances. Similarly, British mischief-makers used to get “Jesus on the cross” inked onto their shoulders to make themselves seem like upstanding citizens. That way, if a religious captain was somehow moved by the WWJD message, he might drop the whip in favor of a lesser punishment.

Tattoos to Intimidate Boxers

The Tattoo: A tribal-looking thing

The Tattooed: Mike Tyson’s face

The Reason: To honor the Mayans?

Claiming he was into history, Iron Mike made the unfortunate mistake of telling reporters that his new face tattoo was a Mayan New Zealand symbol. The fact that Mayans aren’t really from New Zealand didn’t stop his enthusiasm. Of course, history is the least of Mike’s concerns. According to Sports Illustrated, the former heavyweight is currently trying to fight women in the ring.

Tattoos as Punishment

The Tattoo: a vagina on the forehead

The Tattooed: lusty Indian priests

The Reason: To make an example of ‘em.

If you thought laws were severe in Texas, any priest caught with his trousers down in ancient India got a “little girl” branded into his noggin.

Tattoos as Billboards

The Tattoo: GoldenPalace.Com, also on the forehead

The Tattooed: Karolyne Smith

The Reason: Cash money

In need of some quick cash, Karolyne Smith did the first thing any enterprising young American would do, and auctioned off her forehead on e-Bay. After 27,000 visits, online casino GoldenPalace.com outbid everyone with a cool $10,000 offer. Each letter on her forehead is an inch high, and the terms are that she has to leave it there permanently. Still, it beats having a vagina on there.