Dear John....

Dilemma

So, I’m not sure what to do in this situation, and I need all the advice you can give me!

I have a co-worker, who must be closely related to Laura’s Officemate. I’ve probably told you about the blowout we had over one of my designs last week (I won’t go into it, but my boss had to talk to her about her unprofessional attitude). My dilemma is closely related to her, as her partner is also my hair stylist.

For a few months now, I have been unhappy with her performance on my hair. When I get my hair done, I get a cut and color, and most likely new hair products (shampoo, conditioner, gel, etc.). Well, the last few times I’ve gone to her (and I’ve been going to her for 2 years now) – she hasn’t given me the cut or color I’ve wanted. Also – the last few times, she’s been over an hour late with my appointment! Don’t get me wrong, I like helping out a friend with a new business – but I pay over $100 per visit with tip just to wait an hour, and not come away happy with my hair?

So I’ve been building up the courage to tell her I was going to someone else. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone else. PLUS, I took Josh to see her a few times, and when she found out he had been going to Great Clips – she gave him all kinds of shite about it! I tried to explain to her that he doesn’t care about a $30 hair cut, and he likes going down the street to pay $12 instead of driving 30 min away to the ‘burbs just to get the same thing done! I can tell she was disappointed, but at least I was still her client, right?

Wrong. After the great blow up my co-worker (her partner) and I had, I decided to check out Kurt’s friend’s brand new salon. It was a similar situation for his friend Andee, as my old stylist. She just opened a shop, but because she had been out of the salon business for a while, all her clients had found other people! She needed new business bad! So after telling her continuously that I would make an appointment, I did so – out of anger and relief! And so what happens? I get the best hair cut and color since 1997!!! She did exactly what I wanted, and didn’t try to talk me out of my ideas! I gave her a few tips (i.e. I need my color to be dark, but not too dark, I need to be able to pull my hair back into a pony tail, hide my cowlick!) and she was able to cut in her own style and own ideas, without infringing on MY ideas! PLUS she gave me a hip cut which doesn’t look too indie, but also doesn’t look like I’m an old woman! And the cherry on top of my sundae? Her salon is only 5 min away from my house!

So here be my dilemma: I have to let my other stylist down easy. Why is this difficult?

• 
  I work with her partner who is a very tough woman to work with, as well as a grudge – holder. We are already having our own problems, let alone the hair issue! I assume she has already told my stylist that I have a new hairdo…..so I have to be diplomatic.
• 
  I really like my stylist on a friend level! I’ve been to her house, she goes to my gym, and we were even planning some hikes this summer!
• 
  I can’t just NOT stop going to her and not say anything about it. Sooner or later I will see her again, whether it be here in my office as she’s visiting her partner, at the gym, or at work functions.
  
  Plus – she’s been a good stylist to me – giving me free shampoo and hair cuts when she was at her corporate run salon!
  So I was thinking of just sending her a card at her salon. Saying something to the effect of, “I love you (as a friend), but I’m not IN love with you (as my stylist)”. I REALLY want to say, “because you are never on time- which makes me late, you never do my hair right, your shop is in BFE, I need a younger, hipper style, basically just don’t want to spend $100+ on a crappy hairdo.” But I can’t say that.
  So how SHOULD I let her down easy? It’s like a Dear John letter – only Dear Monique!