While filling up my car a full 15 gallons of $2.20 gas, i decided i didn't have time to stop anywhere to purchase lunch. i excitedly went into the 7-E to look at their microwavable lunch section. i thought a nice noodle bowl would do the trick, until i cautiously picked up a lunch sized cheesy Lasagna in a microwavable tray.
i contemplated the choice of lasagna between roasted garlic asian noodles, until finally i felt confident that a nice piece of lasagna was well due on my menu. i purchased the small meal for $2.99.
I was skeptical, but as i walked to my car i looked down at the friendly, reassuring smile of our friend, Chef Boyardee. He was confident i would enjoy his convenient lasagna that needed no refrigeration. Hell! He's been a chef for friggin' 50 years, right? So who am i to question his italian specialty?
I anticipated my lasagna. i hurriedly went to the break room to peal off half of the plastic film and pop it into the microwave. i was so excited, i thought i could hardly wait the 2-3 minutes or until hot! Even AFTER that, is another 30 seconds to cool! Caution! Tray will be HOT!!! All of these directions are making me wait longer and longer for my beloved lasagna. As i pealed off the film, i thought the odor was slightly unpleasant. But i chalked it up to the fact that anything that is supposed to be microwaved, doesn't smell pleasant before the actual cooking. As i ignored the poignant odor, i closed the door and pressed the control pad as fast as i could. OH the agony of waiting - watching the small microwavable tray turn around circle after circle.
Finally, count down of the last minute began, and i quickly prepared my plate, fork, napkin - do i need a knife? I doubt it, but i should take one just in case. Why was i debating this? Did i have time to think about the use of a knife on lasagna? WHEN WILL IT BE DONE????
Ding.
I immediately opened the door and loaded the Caution will be HOT plastic tray on my plate, and walked hastily to my desk.
Okay. It's been 30 seconds. It has to have cooled down on the way back to my desk - right?
Oops! My boss just beeped me on my subaru nextel. Can't take a bite just yet.
Carlos! Quit talking to me about your stupid tattoo!!!
Ahh....finally. Peace and quiet to enjoy the first bite of my Chef Boyardee cheesy Lasagna!
Hmmm...
hhmmmuuuuhhh???
Whaaa....??
Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
i should've gotten the roasted garlic asian noodle bowl.
The Chef let us down on this one, my friends.
Don't trust those beady little eyes and that scarf he wears around his neck!
Bad Bad Bad.
Tastes like spaghetti-O's - but worse. it's got some "ricotta" type cheese that is chalky and unpleasant.
Boo.
Two thumbs down. i had to go buy a Grandma's Peanutbutter cookie just to eradicate the taste from my mouth.
At least Grandma has never let me down!
1 comment:
Hi Cassie,
I enjoyed this cautionary tale of quick stop culinary delights....myself, I would have stuck with the 99 cent hotdog, "the bomb" burrito, or Jack Links Kickin' Kippered Cajun Beefstick....mmmmm....beefstick. Also, you said it tasted like spaghetti-o's but worse? Didn't you mean to say "it tasted like spaghetti-o's, but not as good."? Spaghetti-o's are magically delicious, especially with meatballs. However, I have not tasted them in about 20 years, so my memory may be skewed by nostalgia. Anyway, I like your writing style.
Later,
-J
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