Friday, March 31, 2006

"You want a pony? I'll BUILD you a pony!!!!"

This Make site Josh sent me is really fun!
It's all about making projects at home with random stuff. It's a little like Readymade, but for geeks, not yuppies.

and you know what else? They like American Inventor, too!

So there are tons of neat project to read about - including a Podcast for us knitters called 'Cast On'. I just love it!

here are a few projects in which you can create from this site!

Star Wars Catnip toys!

Zelda NES cartridge hard drive

Toilet Paper Gun (which i'm assuming is more fun than toilet papering by hand....)

And best of all, your own home made Star Trek shuttle craft! Right in your own back yard!!!!

Thanks Josh. This site rulz.

My Boyfriend has been practicing his Cock Push-Ups!

So Jack Black is out with a new movie!

Feel free to watch the previews




I can't wait to see him in axshun. i've seen the trailer and some fun movie stills, and it looks awesome.

He will be mine.....oh yes....

He will be mine.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Krazy Who? Who was I talking about?

Music producer Phil Spector is shown in Superior Court in a file photo from May 23, 2005, in Los Angeles. A judge agreed Wednesday, March 22, 2006, to postpone Spector's murder trial until Sept. 11, noting that prosecutors and a defense attorney have scheduling conflicts.

Read More about this Rich Weirdo.

Another O.J. Simpson? What do you think?

Oh those Krazy Japanese!

I am blog cheap again, and have no time to post! i got a forward the other day from Paul, and thought i'd share some of my favorite pictures! If you want me to forward the whole thing, send me an email!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Monday Morning Funnies

I think I got this comic from Planetdan -
But i came across it this morning, and it made me laugh.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Jimmy cracked corn - and i really don't Care!

Unfortunately, my ‘Happy Friday’ has plummeted into ‘I Should’ve Stayed In Bed-day’. And you, dear friends, are going to hear about it. It started out as any other Friday; hung over, not willing to move, and waking up too late to take a shower. But then something happened to make this Friday suck azz..
I don’t know what the catalyst was – but it could’ve possibly been the booze I imbibed last night while watching The Poseidon Adventure.
So this morning I wake up – I don’t want to go to work (like every day, but worst on Friday) and I end up snoozing in bed way too long.
So I end up running around trying to smell which clothes don’t smell AS bad to wear them to work, and end up leaving my house 20 minutes late.
This is actually not so bad.
The bad part is that people were driving like assholes this morning!! Do I need to prove it?
I witnessed a car accident on the way to ye ole office which was pretty bad. Some guy in an 90s Mustang was bobbing and weaving through traffic. He ended up hitting a car stopped in the left lane trying to turn – at 40 + MPH. It was CRAZY. The poor guy stumbles out of his car, which luckily didn’t hit any on coming traffic. His car was toast, and the other guy in the mustang hadn’t even flinched as he crashed into this poor fellow – but was sitting in his car – probably knocked out cold.
What gets me is that this had all gone on mere blocks away from the same school zone in which I had gotten a speeding ticket in December for going 30 MPH (which is the speed limit outside the zone) and where was the cop? There’s some saying about when the cat’s away the mice will party or something like that – which is apparently what this asshole in the Mustang thought.
So as I carefully averted the accident, I was driving away thinking how lucky I was and how people don’t pay attention (like cops) when some crazy hobo on a bike veered out into traffic almost riding right into me. I slammed on my brakes (which luck again would have everyone surrounding me driving at the same speed and not riding my ass due to the afore mentioned accident) and tapped my horn at this guy. I thought he didn’t see me, but apparently he did, cause he flipped me off. After which, I proceeded to run him over.

No, just kidding. But I sure wanted to. I drive by the ‘Jesus Saves’ shelter every day on my way to work, so you would think I’d be used to crazies walking into oncoming 5 lane traffic, but what can I say? I don’t want The Dart to get dented!

As if to put the cherry on top of my sundae, one of my work colleagues was teasing me in front of everyone and jokingly mentioned i should go upstairs ‘to color’ apparently meaning my landscape designs were worthless. So I told him I’d color his ass, but I would run out of markers. There were mixed reviews of this zinger – as I possibly showed a little more vehemence than I should have.

I sit here watching the clock waiting for my boss to leave so I can go home early.
I should’ve stayed in bed.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sunday School in Public School

So, how many of you would've signed up for this worthless elective?

I heard this story on NPR this morning. I think it's retarded.
How are they actually going to find someone with unbiased views to teach the Bible as a 'History' class, instead of skewing it with their own religious affiliated beliefs? If you can listen to the NPR story - please do. It discusses how without the proper training, teachers could make this 'History Class' into a Bible Study class. If you can't listen - i found a shorter article online. Here is an exerpt:

Senate Democrats propose Bible class for public schools
The Associated Press - ATLANTA

Georgia public school students would be allowed to study the Bible under a plan proposed by Democrats in the state Senate on Wednesday.
The bill authorizes the state school board to approve an optional course that would teach about the Bible's influence on literature, art, culture and politics.

"As a history major, I understand very clearly the impact the Bible has had on society," said Sen. Tim Golden, of Valdosta, chairman of the Senate's Democratic caucus and the bill's sponsor. "It's had a huge impact."

The bill would allow for "nonsectarian, nonreligious academic study" of the Bible and would require it "be taught in an objective and nondevotional manner with no attempt made to indoctrinate students as to either the truth or falsity of the biblical materials."


Monday, March 20, 2006

I invented Post-Its, too!

Well, it finally happened.

I got my first email regarding my 10 year high school reunion. I expected it for some time now, and yup. There it be.

So of course I’ve decided that if my reunion is in August, that gives me plenty of time to lose those last few 10 lbs and win the Nobel Prize for Peace, right?

But you want to know what IS the problem? As much as I liked high school – I don’t really remember many people. My friend who emailed me actually is married and living in Los Angeles – so even SHE doesn’t keep in contact with too many other people. She told me a way to access all the hub bub on MySpace by visiting my school’s profile – but I don’t remember half the people on the site! Only a FEW people jumped out at me, and no one I really desired to talk to.
I started thinking, “Why go?”
I mean, everyone I knew in high school that I was friends with, I somewhat still talk to. These other people – GEEZ. I don’t even know what to say to them.
“Hello. I live in Denver. Kansas City sure is hot in August.”
Plus, it’s not that I’m not proud of the path I have chosen for my life – but I almost feel like I have to have been super successful and show off how much I’ve changed in 10 years.
I mean, when I thought about attending my 10 year reunion right AFTER high school, I wanted to go with a buddy of mine (who is now married with kids) all high with a 40 oz. That was my dream! You know what’s scary? I still think that sounds fun!!! I haven’t changed A BIT!!!
I guess I don’t really HAVE to have changed too much – I just wish I didn’t feel pressured into thinking about it.
Maybe I just don’t feel like I’ve reached my goals yet. Hell, I don’t even know what my goals ARE.

Well, I’ve succeeded into bumming myself out, and feeling like I’m an old shoe the cobbler can’t fix. Now I really DO want to go get high and drink a 40 oz.

Man. That STILL sounds fun.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Keira Knightly???

While i hate clowns as much as the next person - this site is funny for one reason:

Check out the t-shirt model.

Do they teach those poses and faces in modeling school? Maybe i need to beef up on my America's Top Model shows.....

Hemingway - it still makes me laugh!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Rantin' and Ravin'

I have been so busy this week! YUCK!

Josh sent me a certificate over email on Tuesday, I’m assuming, because I haven’t had time to answer any of his emails.

The last few days I have really been running around like a crazy woman. I’m surprised I’ve showered! PLUS I’ve taken 2 weeks off from going to the bar – so it seems like FOREVER!!!

As per the request of the Town of Castle Rock, I was required to take a test to practice landscape design in their city limits. Usually, they send you a little form, you fill it out, and voila! You are a Certified Landscape Professional in the Town of Castle Rock, Colorado.
But now – that little piece of paper isn’t good enough. Now you are required to spend and entire day taking not 1 but 2 exams, proving you can work in their city. So actually, now you give them 2 pieces of paper – and after 8 hours (don’t forget the drive), and $25 – you can now be allowed to actually WORK in their city. It wasn’t just designers wasting all this time – it was installers, maintenance, irrigation techs – the works. What a waste of a day.

And you wanna know what kind of schnacks they had? Peanuts and ‘Fun Size’ candy. Hello? I’m stuck in a room of 80 people, and you give me ‘Fun Size’? And who determines the size of ‘Fun’? Obviously a very very small person. I mean, C’MON!!!

Hemingway –
I ended up going to this test with a couple other people from my office – actually anticipating seeing other people I might know. My anticipation rose as I climbed the metal stairs of their very modern “Town Hall” Annex. As I entered the city council room, my hopes that this day wouldn’t turn out to be a complete waste of my time were dashed by 2 things:
1) I didn’t recognize anyone there other than those I came with
2) I was supposed to take 2 all day tests sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs that didn’t even have armrests?

My spirits sank as I signed in and grabbed my ‘packet’ and a handful of peanuts. I set up shop somewhat close to the front, as I have yet to acquire my ever-so-necessary glasses and lo – who is to sit in front of me for the next 6 hours – NO, not someone I know whom I haven’t seen in 5 years, but better! Some tall, smelly guy with a circle worn into the back pocket of his jeans!!! This guy looked at me with the same disgust as I looked at him – but for different reasons. To me, he was tall, smelly, and would NOT turn his 2-way off the whole time! He insisted on ‘working’ from this class by beeping away on his Nextel THE WHOLE TIME. I wonder what makes people believe they are ‘above the law’ so to speak, when the announcement, “PLEASE TURN ALL PHONES AND RADIOS OFF” is stated not once, twice, but MULTIPLE times. I mean, they obviously speak English, so what’s the problem? Who says any of the rest of the people there don’t have just as much to do as this guy? Does he think that OUR calls are not as critical as his? Does he think this request is SO unreasonable he has to revolt? UGH!!!! I could go on and on and tell you how he was the first to leave the class WAY too early – which led me to believe he had taken the test before – meaning he probably failed it the first time because he was constantly on his phone…….
He disliked me for other reasons. Mainly: I was a woman in a man’s world.
I try to explain to people what it’s like to struggle everyday in this industry. Since working at UFI, I’ve actually gotten somewhat of a break to what it used to be like when I worked in the field, just starting out. Women don’t know anything about landscaping, and all we DO know how to do is either working in a nursery, or designing. We have no other roles. We don’t KNOW what it’s like to haul rock, dig a ditch, and get FILTHY. We don’t swear, smoke, OR drink beer. We CERTAINLY don’t know Spanish, or recognize when our tits are the topic of conversation.
Heavy Sigh.
Fine. I do my small part to make way for strong women of my industry who are interested in construction. But I tell ya, it’s hard when you’re first starting out. I looked this guy straight in the eye, adjusted my boobs, and used the highest pitched voice I could muster without sounding too weird to my co-workers to do battle with this dude.
“Can you take off your hat, or move to the left just a little? Thank you! You’re so sweet!”. I almost made myself sick.
This is how I had learned to fight with these guys. I was being tough in different way. I wasn’t swearing, smoking, or picking my nose! My tactics were simple: Roughnecks don’t deny you anything when you’re PURPOSEFULLY being womanly. They deny you EVERYTHING if they think you are trying to be masculine. I would’ve balked at this thought 5 years ago – but it’s a hard road to learn. Some women got it, and some don’t. I honestly don’t know which I am. But as a result, and due to my co-workers and assorted men surrounding us – he looked around to how many people had heard me, and decided to move over.

As I sat back in my chair smiling, I strained to see the view screen past his ginormous heed – I realized my back was cramping. Not the type of cramping one would think would happen sitting in the most uncomfortable chairs on the face of the planet for 6 hours would cause – but a very specific cramping.
The cramping that accompanies a trip to the bathroom, valium and chocolate.
The dreaded PMS cramping had now turned into much more than just “PRE” anything. It was here, NOW.
“Oh sweet mother!!! What else can happen?” I cried to myself silently as I ate my peanuts. I ferverently looked around to see if I could make a quick escape to the bathroom. But of course, due to my 28 year old failing eyesight, I had to exit to the front of the room, in front of the speaker, view screen, and the panel of frowning women who worked for the city, whom of course gave me eye daggers telling me how rude I was being.

As I got back to my seat (repeating the entire event again as I came back) after all eyese were following me down the aisle, a ruckus (no, I will not describe the ruckus) occurred in the back. A ruckus which pulled all eyes from me to a guy laying on the ground. Apparently he passed out and fell out of his chair.
Heat? Exhaustion? What causes fainting spells? I wonder if he was really hung over and just didn’t like sitting in a stuffy room full of 80 landscape professionals learning the correct way to plant a shrub.

It certainly broke the afternoon up. But it didn’t get me out of taking those tests.
To sum up – I spent the whole day reviewing everything I already knew, taking tests, sitting in back of some smelling dude, waiting to pay my $25 for a couple scantron sheets telling The Town of Castle Rock that I’m okay to plant flowers.

I made up for it by buying a new purse at Target.

I can be masculine if I want!!! I’m not ALWAYS feminine! I played Play Station when I got home!!!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Great Paul has Spoken.....

As in Amber's post on The Great Cassie has Spoken - i will do a post for my friend Paul.
He really wants me to post this picture - in accordance with the post i did a few months back on fan art.

I guess before the release of the new Harry Pottey video - people were getting all itchy!

Naughty Naughty, Mr. Potty! Which reminds me of that porno I heard of called, 'Harry Potter and the Socerer's Bone'. I bet there are tons of those out there - Especially with The Chamber of Secrets, and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Any suggestions on all titles naughty?

And on lighter news - he also sent me this blog which i think you should check out! It's hilarious!

Monday, March 13, 2006

i have no time to post....

but i'm really enjoying searching for famous movie lines of late!

Here are just a few i have collected over the past few weeks (not to mention the scary Shinning quote from below!)

WAV #1

WAV #2

WAV #3

WAV #4

WAV #5

WAV #6

WAV #7

Can you figure out which movies these are from? I know, they're not TOO hard - but humor me!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Is it a Star?

American Inventor may be the best mix between Beat the Geeks and Battlebots on television....

But let's just say i'm going to be watching THIS reality show! What a great concept! I just heard about it on NPR today on Talk of the Nation: Science Fridays. They interviewed the producer and it sounded AWESOME!!!

Nerd Up, my friends!!!!


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

AArrrrggh!!! Ye Old Quizzes are Back!!!!

My pirate name is:

Bloody Bess Bonney

Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from

Sorry, I didn't get around to it....

I guess i forgot to tell you all on Monday that it's National Procrastination Week.

Guess i thought i'd get around to it eventually.....

Monday, March 06, 2006

This is Addictive....

Step right up girls and boys!
you wanna know how to easily waste HOURS at a time online without leaving 1 website?
No, not Myspace, but

This is just like playing dolls when i was a kid, or those Fashion Plates - remember those? (although i think mine were from the 70's since there were still bell bottoms....)

Does it look like me?
maybe add some tattos and a big booty.....
And i'm not quite sure, but i think i have bigger boobs, too....
(although i DO like that bag....)

Willie calls it "Shinning" instead of "Shining" because he 'don't want to be sued'

Well, I guess this has been in my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. I was watching The Shining as I was unpacking some items in my kitchen a couple weekends ago, when I thought about ‘Danny’ and what ever happened to him. I went to check him out at (one of my favorite sites EVAR) and found out that he didn’t act past The Shining. I also read some interesting info about his role in The Shining – where apparently Stanley Kubrick sheltered him so much on the set (he was only 6) that ‘Danny’ didn’t even know it was a horror film until years later. All scenes were filmed so randomly, the kid didn’t know what was going on! I thought that was really cool of Kubrick.
So as I was doing some research online, I found the bunny site Amber had posted, but more importantly, a website that analyzed the film in a way I never knew possible:

Fans found it surprising in 1980 when Kubrick turned out a movie that was apparently no more than a horror film. The action took place at the Overlook Hotel in Colorado, where the winter caretaker, a chilling Jack Nicholson, became progressively madder and tried to murder his wife and his telepathic son.
But The Shining is not really about the murders at the Overlook Hotel. It is about the murder of a race - the race of Native Americans - and the consequences of that murder.

Weird, huh? If you have time - skim through that site! It's REALLY interresting, and they've got some AWSOME soundbites!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Truth is Out Where?

So I heard this story on NPR the other morning, and it got me thinking about careers.
Apparently more than 120,000 people applied for the CIA last year.

When I was in high school, I actually thought about joining the CIA. I had dreams of becoming the next greatest female spy. I think this was brought on by Robert Ludlam books, and that movie True Lies.
But of course, in high school, without the ‘internet’ (which I didn’t know what it even was, let alone how to use it) I had no idea how one would even get IN to the CIA. I thought they came to you! I thought it was like La Femme Nikita (the French version, not the USA Original Series version) where they picked you up off the street.
So my quest was somewhat crushed by this road block. Until my World History teacher, Mr. Snelling, mentioned that if I was serious about joining the CIA, he knew some ‘people’. He could ‘get me in’ so to speak.

Well. I thought that was the greatest thing since sliced bread, until I realized that I wanted to pursue my dreams as a professional ballet dancer and ceramics major in college. WOW.

After I failed out of my first year of college (largely due to beer – partially due to the Adonis that was in my Western Civilizations class – dammit! He deserved to be stared at!), I found out that you could actually get a degree in Landscaping. So I packed my crap and moved to Colorado to pursue my new dream: getting away from The Evil (my ex-boyfriend who stepped on my heart and mutilated it for 3 years). As I studied landscape horticulture, I started wondering if I should chuck it all, go back to KC and become an FBI agent. They have a bureau there, and I even had a girlfriend in high school whose dad was an agent! I thought that would be ALMOST like being a CIA agent! I didn’t really decide that this was the best route to go until I started watching X-Files. Dude, I could TOTALLY be Fox Mulder! I mean, C’MON!!! I was just as full of conspiracies and porn addiction as he was!!!! Okay, not the porn part – but I thought boys were cute.
Hemingway – listening to this article on NPR got me thinking about joining the CIA or FBI again. Do you think they would hire an agent who is fresh out of the Peace Corps and in her 30s before she even starts the training?

Hmmmm…….Just think, I may be the next Agent Starling who has a serial killer obsessed with her……